Friday, December 29, 2006

i'm sorry my friends, i just need some alone time.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

I am having PMS.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

So this is christmas.

I woke up this afternoon with the same feeling i had last yr - cold, confused, lazy to think.

The Straits Times reported yesterday that christmas is the hardest time for single woman. I initially took the article as nothing...until i left home. At the MRT station, i suddenly thought of mother. She has nobody to celebrate christmas with. She's so alone. So i messaged both my brothers to find out if they'll be home. None answered. As such, i went for dinner with 52-ers in a foul mood. i was so ready to leave early to spend time with mother.

I talked kok.
I only returned home at 6 am. After the entirely family, including fender no. 1, was soundly asleep. HAHAHA.

this was what happened:

A total of 14 of us feasted at 'simply paranakan' @ esplanade. It has been exactly 365 days since i last stepped into esplanade and i'm sad to say, except for the art pieces on the stretch of road from citylink to esplanade, everythingelse was pretty much the same.

After dinner, we walked to the merlion, stoned for like forever before they decided to catch a movie. I heard they were eyeing 'curse of the golden flower' or 'night at the museum'. Since i wasn't interested in the former, have watched the latter and told 3sa and hush that i'll show my face at christmas@orchard, I left the group and headed to the smelly, sticky and cramped up town ALONE.

After squeezing through the mob and surviving the snow spray attacks, i finally found the stage and the council with it. It was roughly 5 songs till the actual countdown. So i waited.... and waited.

The crowd went amok.
So did the banglahs.

They gathered together and started swaying and pushing. I think the emcee was shocked herself. So many people nearly fell. So many threw their tantrums and started yelling. At least one girl got molested. And i witnessed it.

She was right in front of me. Cramped, surrounded and stuck in between banglahs. She looked 16-ish and was using both her hands to protect her front, leaving her back vulnerable. While everyone was getting sweaty and dirty, i heard her yell, " Stop touching my body! "

I guess since i was standing right next to her and am physically short, i was the only one who heard her yell. When i turned about to check out the commotion, i saw a plump blanglah ( i think this is the first time i see a fat banglah. ), who was pinned to her back, reaching out for her ass.

I grabbed his hands immediately and shouted up at him, " what are you trying to do?! "

The cheek of him to giggle, shrug in that psychotic, dirty manner and say, " i dono " whilst trying to squeeze outta my grip. Given his really greasy, DISGUSTING hand, he broke free and turned into the faster flowing opposite direction crowd.

I'm an ugly singaporean. I didn't give chase.

Instead, i asked the girl if she was alright. She cried and shaked her head in the neither-yes-nor-no way. I didn't know what else to say so after a few seconds of awkward silences, she rushed up into a pack of ppl. My guess is she was separated from her friends before she got stuck in b/w the banglahs so she ran back to em.

I bet she'll never show her face at anymore countdowns for a long long time.

Amist the scene, childish teenagers, roughly my age or maybe even older were spraying tons and tons of snow foam things. One guy who i'm sure was way older than me even had a bag full of em. I thought they were banned! Well, Singapore should. At least restrict e no. of cans sold. if they can ban harmless chewing gums, i don't see why they should allow such stuffs. To create the atmosphere? It wasn't helping. They just looked like a bunch of oversized kids.

Anyway, after the countdown, i headed back to meet 52-ers. We went ECP to...catch up with one another. Spent hours there. By the time we reached geylang for supper, it was roughly 4 am.

Dim sum for supper. So much for losing weight ; so much for saving money.

I shall go for a swim then.

I've been talking alot haven't i?
oh well...................................

Merry Christmas all!

Last christmas, i gave you my heart.
But the very next day,
you gave it away.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Happy 2006th birthday, Mr Christ.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Hell, i'm changing to blogger beta soon. muahaha.

First and foremost, Thanks for the shirt, kl. I like it. Saved me some new year money somemore. hahaha. :)

I think the older generations forgot what christmas is about. Year after year, i see everyone giving each other ang baos. This yr, it's worst. My mother and a family friend agreed not to exchange gifts coz it's a waste of money. In the end, they gave our family an unfried packet of cashew nuts. -_-'''

i'm not saying this because i want presents. Afterall, more often than not, my family always gets me things their ideal yvonne should be using. i'm an unfilial, unappreciative person. i know. haha..

it's ok to give my family nothing coz we're the grown-up cousins/nephews/niece/children but i'm talking about the joy the kids have on their faces when they receive wrapped up gifts and start ripping the wrappers apart. ( even more reason why we should never buy wrapping paper from 'Prints'.) Imagine how they'ld feel when they realise that the gifts they got are the things they want/like. Of course, this joy is now killed since everyone is placing a quota on how much our presents for the kids should be.
if i were a rich man..

Unfortunately, i'm not in the mood to do the gift-hunting this yr so alvin had to do it instead.

I guess parents sees christmas as a time to unnecessarily spend more money. Not entirely untrue but look at the bigger picture - although definitely the cause of headaches, gift hunting is fun. Especially when u're doing it with the right people. And it's not good to always give ang baos to kids on EVERY occassion or they'll grow up to be a money-minded, festives-means-nothing-but-money people.

Still, i must give credit to the adults for planning so many family gatherings this yr. I'm sorry i never make it for most of em. I do feel bad. :(

done with talking kok, lets talk abt today.

Today was a great day!
Went to PW and did some painting with hush. My mind was kinda off-focused but it was fun on the whole. After we finished, we went shopping for her family's gift. She's hilarious. Remind me again that she's a grown up alrdy. i always have the notion that she's still the lil girl who just stepped into gvss. hahaha...

ice-skating next! =)

check out Joe Satriani's crowd chant. Very nice.

I am selfish.
I am wrong.
I am right.
I swear i'm right.
Swear i knew it all along.
And i am flawed.
But i am cleaning up so well.
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself.

Oh great, it's christmas eve already..
Went out for supper with kl last night and i greatly embarassed myself:
1) Aimed for geylang but ended up at lau pa sat.
2) Forgot to bring money.

how man am i?

Saturday, December 23, 2006

NUS's accountancy school closed down.
Told you NTU school of business and accountancy is better and more prestigious.

i'm not bragging.

And I think NUS accountancy's students are quite poor thing. If i'm not wrong, they gotta change course which means they have to retake everything.

hopefully i have no friends in thr.

Got the car tonight! anybody wants supper? :D

But fighting all the demons will take time..
it will take time.

Friday, December 22, 2006

In just 3 days, i spent over $10 just on transportation ALONE!
basket. Looks like adult life isn't that great afterall. :(

Went to watch Night at the museum with hush today. show's ok. Not the best, but watchable. It would have been better if not for the smelly apu-neh-neh beside us and the couple making out in front of us. haha... wonderful choice of show to make out btw.

hush's a good company. :)

Check out the relatively new band, Rascal Flatts. They have good songs in their album.

i'm zzzy. night all.

What hurts the most,
Was being so close.
And having so much to say.
And watching you walk away,
And never knowing,
What could have been.
And not seeing that loving you,
Is what I was tryin' to do.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

In one season of friends,

Joey, Phoebe and Rachel felt tight coz they were not as rich as Monica, Chandler and Ross and they can't afford to do many expensive stuffs like them but had difficulty rejecting it coz they thought it was stupid to kill the spirit over a small cash flow issue.

I feel like joey, phoebe and rachel. :(

Anyway, the holiday's a good show.

P/s: blogger is discriminating against OLD blogger users.

P/s 2: i think there's something behind the fridge in my room.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Hello darkness my old friend.. i've come to talk with you again.

The rain has been eccentric. Behaving exactly like girls - tempremental. haha..
It's affecting all of my activities. My swims, my runs, my cycling... GONE. all i can do now is eat, zzz and eat and zzz even more. i really needed those exercises. for obvious reasons. Even driving seems less fun and more dangerous now thanks to the fallen trees and jams.

I'm a lil lazy to talk about the past couple of days but they're worth putting down.
so here's a couple of things to note:

1) Pulau ubin on friday was fun.
2) Changi jetty has changed so much it isn't that cool anymore. instead of the kampong, rustic loo, it looks like WTC with all the checks and stuff.
3) the last time i took the 'bumper boat' ride was in sec 2's atc.
4) we aimed for chek jawa but jj, whose roots were supposed to be from ubin lead us to the beach beside npcc campsite instead. (oh how we used to play muah chee there. yuck. )
5) ubin's mosquitoes are like commando mosquitoes and they attack in 3s.
6) we didn't manage to reach chek jawa.
7) fang hui met with a really bad accident.
8) photos will be up later.
9) met up with 4e1'03 on saturday.
10) suki sushi's buffet is SO MUCH more worth it than sakae sushi's buffet.
11) Wanted to go indochine - yay! :)
12) found out that suhaily ( class chairman ) was working in rouge - only accepts ladys who are > 21 and guys who are >25 ( beside acid bar @ sommerset ) that night.
13) reserved a chamber for all of us.
14) 9 ppl.
15) my 2nd time in rouge. first time was with dear kl and her mr policeman.
16) opened a bottle of vodka that costed $158.
17) rouge's band is like sooooo good. much better than indochine but still, i like indochine nonetheless.
18) rouge's music, when the band was resting was ALSO good.
19) chin hoong's first time drinking.
20) went to simpang bedok for supper.
21) woke up early for car wash on sunday.
22) car wash was cancelled due to bad weather.
23) pl, estelle and i went to pw to shop instead.
24) estelle bought 2 book, pl bought nothing and i bought a pair of beautiful LEVI's socks. :D
25) hong kong xiao chi has terrible food at unreasonable prices.
26) went home to slack for the rest of the day.
27) Chun how's birthday celebration yesterday.
28) went to visit chechire home - our beneficiary first.
29) some of them are quite friendly and some really makes me sad.
mtt once said.. " there's a difference b/w service learning and community service. In community service, u may leave sad. in service learning, u learn by serving. There's no need to feel sad. Just learn how to give. " let's practice service learning on lovebites.
30) went to visit poor ol' fang hui.
31) went to celebrate chun how's birthday @ brewerks @ clarke quay.
32) the bill totalled to $708!
33) went to his friend's friend's pub.
34) opened my 2nd bottle - chivas.
35) chun how got REALLY DRUNK.
36) i had his puke on my hands.
37) this is the most expensive birthday party i've been to. but i had fun. :)
38) since chun how reads this, i am unable to disclose how much i've spent. haha..
39) estelle and i are trying to rush through full house on youtube.
40) rain very hamsum meh?
41) i bet youtube will be forced to close one day
42) i'm really glad that exams are over and i embrace this holidays. the feeling of not needing to get up to study or stick to the stupid schedule.
43) school is starting. :(
44) nicholas sparks has a new book! - dear john.
45) i can't wait to get my hands on it.
46) it is so much easier to update this way.
47) it's getting cold.
48) i'm going to snuggle up on fh's bed. HAHA.
49) goodnight everyone.

poor jamie went to sispec. he'll be gone for 6 months. I'm gonna miss him especially when we have any other class gatherings. i miss him alrdy. 4e1'03 rocks. =)

Anyway, the past couple of days were really good i suppose. busy = good.

I saw michelle's friendster profile. Seeing how close the jnr canoeists are makes me really happy. i wish the ppl frm my batch are as close as em too..but just thinking back on how they were when i first saw them..seeing how shimin and qin wei were when they were at the trials, how michelle was when she first took T2, how they were there for us when our batch had that major hiccup..i can't help but smile really widely.

jealous, i am. but i'm happy too. they had better stay this way. :)

oh and folks,
if u're free on christmas day, go down to orchard for christmas@orchard for a collaborated celebration b/w FCBC, GVSC - who will be SINGING ( wahahah! ), giving our balloons etc. and many other ppl.

Aza aza fighting!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Oh dear, i just took 1 chinese song each from estelle and stebun. It's a sign. I'm getting cheena! :(

All thanks to stebun's self-compiled, 95% chinese song CD which he repeated FOUR TIMES on our journey to and fro pulau ubin.

我要离去 别再哭泣 不要伤心 请你相信我 要等待 我的爱 陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天 我们牵着手在草原 听鸟儿歌唱的声音 听我说声... 


Saturday, December 16, 2006

Child, are you happy?
I don't mean to pry.
But do you think of heaven?
Have you wanted to die?
i knew a couple got married at bedok reservoir in a bid to " fulfill PM Lee's dreams of conducting a marriage coupled with 2 dragon boats at the side. "


i didn't know that THAT couple was ANGELA YONG. Yanni's ex-CT. haha..

Funnnnnny, funny.

went ubin today. blog more when i have the mood.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Never judge a book by it's cover.
Never EVER think you know someone because people lie.

under some unfair circumstances,
you'll be surprised to see that..

the good guys can become the bad guys too.

i'm glad you're alright.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Thanks shannon, kl and ms tan for coming down. :)

Cycled with kl and ah bee yest to bedok jetty. Staring at the choppy, vast, green sea, i wished i was canoeing. If only i owned a voyager, a racer or a dancer, i'ld go out on most days. I'ld stop myself right in the middle with no one in sight and scream..yell.

yell my hearts out! yell and yell and yell. Yell until i lose my voice. until i scare the hell outta every fish. Until there's nothing more to say. Then i'ld keep singing. Sing until nothing is left in my mind.

Until i reach a clean slate.

then i'll slowly paddle back. Drag my boat upashore. clean it, wax it. Get it all prepared for my next expedition.

I really miss canoeing.
The slicing of water, the fighting with waves, the gliding of boat, soaking up the sun, the exhaustion..everything.

If you're so powerful, pls,
bring me back there.
This time, alone.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Only a day of car wash and cycling and already i'm sprawed, at 2234 hrs on a fine saturday night, on e NEW L-SHAPED SOFA my family got DURING my exams ( note the sarcasm. ), too tired to drag myself up onto my proper bed.

well done.

blog more abt today tml.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

To raise funds for lovebites, Hall X's annual charity event in Feb'07,
We are conducting car wash @ ECP - the car park beside macs.
Dates: sat (9-12-07 ) and next sun ( 17-12-07 )
Time: b/w 9 am - 3pm.
So do YOUR bid for charity today,
let us beautify your car.
There's no place like home..or is there?

Finally home.
Leaving ntu with the intention of going home seems weird yesterday. Afterall, it's been one and a half month. Oh well, this day gotta come. I can't keep avoid coming back, can i?

Went for sakae sushi with kl and shannon yesterday. YUM! finally got my cha soba. =D i've been having so much cravings lately i feel like i'm pregnant. I'm lucky they always get satisfied. It's been a long yet, not so long time since i met kl and shannon. And shannon drove a MERCS thr!

barely a month after he passed his driving, he's alrdy manoeuvring a MERCS all over town..

..and despite having eight months passed, i'm STILL having problem convincing my mum to let me drive the MAZDA ard. -_-'

Anyway, we went to watch deja vu yesterday.
wonderful show! everyone should watch.
And i also realised i have the making of a good director.
wahaha... only kl and shannon understands what i'm saying. =)

pls don't rain..pls don't rain.
i wanna swim.
pls don't rain.
stupid d<-o<-g.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

so bloody stupid.
Walked pass jam band room.
Slang, the freshie band was singing 'Only one'.

I was shocked that there are people here who knows the song.
Even more, i was shocked at how horrible their edition was.

so this is it.
A song I sing:

Broken this fragile thing now,
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces.
And I've thrown my words all around,
But I can't, I can't give you a reason.
I feel so broken up (so broken up),
And I give up (I give up).
I just want to tell you so you know.
scream my lungs out and try to get to you!
You are my only one!
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do,
You are my only, my only one!
Made my mistakes, let you down.
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long.
Ramed my whole life in the ground,
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone.
And something's breaking up (breaking up).
I feel like giving up (like giving up).
I won't walk out until you know.
scream my lungs out and try to get to you!
You are my only one!
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do.
You are my only my only one.
Here I go, so dishonestly,
Leave a note.
for you my only one.
And I know,
you can see right through me.
So let me go and you will find someone.
scream my lungs out and try to get to you!
You are my only one!
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you!

You are my only,
my only one!

my only oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
my only one!
my only oneeeeeee.

you are my only, my only one.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Imagine Me & You US trailer

" you don't know,
you can never be sure,
but you take the plunge anyway.
Sure is for people who don't know love enough. "
Imagine Me And You

Imagine me and you.

A brilliant beyond brilliant show. For those who are mature enough and have a heart open enough to accept certain truth of life.

To follow the heart.
That's what the show emphasizes.
In life, some things do not turn out the way it is supposed to be or how the society deems.


you cant.fight.fate.

in times like this, or maybe a little less extreme, shut ur eyes, clear urself from the surrounding, from the world and ask yourself..

" what does my heart say? "

Thereafter, trust ur heart. follow it.

if only there ever is someone as strong, sensible and brave as rach and as thoughtful as luce.

open your heart and watch this show with the same respect and not with a jaundiced eye.

I'll be brave too..

Imagine me and you, I do.
I think about you day and night, it's only right.
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight.
So happy together.

If I should call you up, invest a dime.

And you say you belong to me and ease my mind.
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine.
So happy together.

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you,
For all my life.
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue,
For all my life.

Me and you and you and me.
No matter how they toss the dice,
it has to be.
The only one for me is you, and you for me.
So happy together.

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you,
For all my life.
When you're with me,
baby the skies'll be blue.
For all my life.

So happy together.
So happy together.How is the weather?
So happy together.
We're happy together.
So happy together.
Happy together.
So happy together.
So happy together.
(ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba)

Finally with sufficient sleep.

sjab camp was good. Everything went ok except for the minor gliches in the attitudes of some ppl and those stupid hooligans we bumped into at holland V. Actually, the things they did were simply hilarious.

Bravo was soooo good this time. =)

here's a couple of pics taken this past week:

Kboxing with the hallers.

doro, being the most natural ; sharon, trying to look like a pro singer ; jas, acting intellectual.

Spring cleaning with fh and estelle. i look like the terrorist force is CS.

Things we do when we're zzzy at 630 in the morning on the first night of camp.

hmm..i really had fun at camp. And a great experience seeing how different people have grown. Couldn't help but wonder, what happened to me?

more pics will be up if alan koh keeps his words and sends me the rest of the collated shots.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The ah bengs at Holland V are so very the childish.
1st time: we stare.
2nd time: we rolled our eyes and said thank you.
3rd time: we burst out in laughter.

Stupid things they do.


While waiting for jas at bukit batok mrt today,
A hot chick was asking for donations.
To every man she approached, she striked a conversation and flashed her most beautiful smile.
She even grazed her arm across this bangla.


oh well, i donated anyway.


Friday, December 01, 2006

that when i waked i cried to dream again.
How clean is clean?
How dirty is dirty?
How clean is dirty?
How dirty is clean?
Gvsc is ohana.

ohana means family.

And family means nobody gets left behind..
or forgotten.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Tomorrow this time, i'm gonna be a free man!

I can predict that tml's paper's gonna be quite screwed. but i really can't be bothered anymore. My brain's too saturated. Ms seah's right..the good thing about uni is that it practices a modular system. So after the exams, we can go all out and forget everything we've studied. woo hoo! I can only hope now that my project and quiz's grades can help me scrap across to a passing grade for stats.

really man, jc stats is nothing compared to uni's stats.

I should be going to bed now..but not till i tell the world my exciting plan next week:

tml - EXAMS END! lunch with hallers! council retreat.
tuesday - canoeing! ( f.i.n.a.l.l.y. )
wed - break camp. back to hall. WALLA WALLA with 52-ers.
Thurs - hangover day. probably cs, cs and more cs.
fri - steamboat @ marina w 52-ers. sjab trg camp.
Sat - Hiking.
sun - sjab camp.
mon - break camp. back to hall. pub mtg.

i'm going to be FIT again i tell you. Fit, black and really cool. wahaha.

I haven't been going home for a month now. and it seems like i won't be going back for another week.

unfilial brat.
and i haven't even told my mum that i'll be at camp. NVM, ignorance is bliss. Just let her believe that exams are gonna drag to next week.

i don usually list out my activities like that. but.. HOW COOL IS THAT?!

for's back to the books and e bed. :(

Ms Tan's bringing the odac kids to mt kinabalu tml. Again. hahaha..she sounded really sick of it. and i wont blame her. She has been climbing that and ophir like 3-4 times alrdy. i think she can memorise the route alrdy. if only i wasn't having my exams now. I could've gone with her. sigh.. i wish i wish...

My family organised a chalet cum bbq at sentosa tonight. I know my aunt put in alot of effort in coordinating everything..seeing from the thousand and one emails i received frm her. But i can't make it coz of the exams and Alvin can't too. Now i feel so bad. Especially after hearing from mother how disappointed she sounded when she found out we're not going. I guess they're right. Everyone's growing up so fast. No one has time for the family anymore. Sometimes i think my family's hilarious. People my generation always play cool and talk adult-ishly whilst the previous generation folks thinks they're accomodating to us by talking baby talk. Sometimes i wish i can be more filial and pay more respect towards em. But when i'm with em, i always find that they are so... dysfunctional. oh well, i guess it's time i change my mindset.

a'right folks. i'm shutting down.
All the best to everyone taking the final paper tml and to e nus peeps. PUSH! :)

kl, jia you!
don't give up.
it'll be over soon. =)

My best men.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

despite the weekly fogging,


itchy witchy, scratchy watchy,
up and down my backy wacky.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Just like a rollercoaster.
These things in my amygdala goes up and down with no prior warning.

So beaten.

I can use no other words to describe.
I wish it'll just leave.

I don't even know what's in here anymore.
So heavy.

What do you believe?
That you shape life or does the environment shape it?

There is only a limit to how much we can control our life.
a mere.... 10%?
optimistically, 15%.
So what happens to the other 85%?

let me ask another question:

does bliss today mean darkness tomorrow?
If it's so,
do you want bliss?

Yvonne goh, you're so full of shit.

a chat with a friend today made me helluva better.
Although cant. 11 toilet was a terrbile setting,
Thanks for your shoulders.
Thanks for understanding without me having the need to open my mouth.
Thanks for responding so promptly.

Friends are wonderful people.
If you make the right ones.

It's frightful how people change.
Yet on the other hand,
it's delightful how people change.

1.5 hrs of cs definitely calmed me down alot.

It's weird to receive good luck msgs frm michelle and wenee seeing that they're the ones taking A levels this year. no more studying together. :( Nevertheless, i'm happy for them all. Their As are OVER! I could still remember how elated i was. Then.

i'm so off-focused. must be the last-paper syndrome. CANNOT CANNOT. PUSH PUSH PUSH! all the way to the end! one more only. you wanna regret ah?!

tomorrow is a new day.
A brand new beginning.
I shall stay focused. I shall have the self-discipline. Everybody, work with me.

There'll come a day where i'll say how much i miss staying in hall. How much I'll miss going through the life i'm having now. Rather than being a loser and lamenting on how i never made full use of it, why don't i live it up now?

I've been saving all the letters,
that i wrote to you.
Each one a line or two.
i'm fine baby,
how are you?

Friday, November 24, 2006

die. addicted to cs.


Wednesday, November 22, 2006

So be wise,
and keep on,
reading the signs of my body.
12 pm: wake up.
12:45 pm: eat brunch.
2 pm: study.
6++ pm: Stop studying.
7 pm: dinner.
7:45 - 10pm: SLACK.
10pm - 3am: study.
4:30am: zzz.

and the cycle goes on.

tsk tsk. Asking for trouble.

Looking forward to council retreat.
I hope everyone's gonna be there.
It's time to relive ol' sec sch days.

Just like a De'javu.
The same thing happened last yr.
Big A's, council retreat, prom.

only that things were a tad different then.

When you told me that you loved me,
were those just words?
You can't tell me you don't need me.
And i know that hurts.
Coz i'm looking at your picture,
coz it's all i've got.
Maybe one day you and me have,
one more shot.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Yvonne Goh! you stupid fool!

ask, ask, ask!
so kpo for what?!

haven't you learnt?


one phrase, 3 words.
so hard to remember meh?!

see la,
now how?

ohk hak already la!

good for you lor.
so kpo.
never learn from mistakes.


regret now?
regret right?


Saturday, November 18, 2006

Walking down the other side of the road.

Only two days into the exams and i'm behaving like it's already the last.

It's 6:30 am now and the 5 of us are gathered in my room waiting for steven to come back with sup-fast ( supper cum breakfast.) This is a real sinful sight. Earlier on, we went to jp's pizza hut to eat somemore. In what way do we look any prepared for exams?


2 more papers, 2 more weeks to go. It'll be over soon. It'll be over soooon.

There's a new bus route out for the exams weeks. A and B are taken off and bus D will be running the opposite direction of C. It was my first time travelling that direction yesterday and i realised there were many things on the other side of the road that i didn't notice before.

And it struck me.

I guess that's what we have to do with life too. Sometimes, instead of sterotyping certain things, we should stop, take a break and walk the other direction. It might be surprising to see things we overlooked while getting comfortable with the old, usual one.

Take a break, smell the roses.

Friends plays an important part in one's lives. Some have good, solid friends who shared joys and woes. Some have many friends who happen to cross each other's path at certain point of each's journey. I am lucky. I have both.

We were talking about lotsa kok ( As usual ) earlier upstairs. Unknowingly, the topic of death came into the picture and we spoke quite detailed-ly of funeral procedures, how it was to see a coffin being pushed into the flames, how it was to collect the ashes. Ashes. After struggling with life, that is what we're all going to be reduced to. And, i thought of Jin and dad.

Its been years. Too many yrs.

Reflection mood back on.

I pictured many people being burned after dying. I pictured some people who were important to me.

Someone nice told me recently, " forgive and forget. "

i'm trying and i should.

a'right, the sky's bright, the food's eaten.

It's time to zzz and get fat.

Goodnight everyone.

I am warning you, Javert.

I'm a stronger man by far.

There is power in me yet,

my race is not yet run!

Friday, November 17, 2006

I asked my love,
to take a walk.
To take a walk,
down orchard road.
Bypass mandrin,
to centerpoint.
where we had lunch,
At macdonalds'.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Waiting for exams to come is sooooo agonising.

The first batch of people have gone to take their exams. And they all came back gloomy. I thought uni was supposed to be less stressful and mind-grabbing than jc. I was so wrong.

my turn tml. :(

oh yvonne, stop being a weakling!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

experiencing cognitive dissonace.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The grass is always greener on the other side.

kl was right..

when i was in jc, i used to tell her how much i miss gvss and how jc was stupid - their syllabus were dumb, their sch hours were dumb, their upbringing was dumb. Yet now, i miss that stupid school.


So another futile day went by with nothing much entering my head. Estelle said that she's scared because she's not scared. I think that made alot of sense. The stress is more on the fact that i've been wasting my hours plain reading with nothing entering that hollow space in my head.

there's this sharp pain extending from head, through my eyes, down my neck to my shoulder. My apologies to those i snapped at today. A whole day of head-pains definitely made my temper bad. :(

Heard that Georg Bush is coming over this thurs, fri and sat and because of it, the As and Os that's gonna fall on those days will be pushed back by an hr. I know michelle ends her paper on friday and i think wen ee also. My condolences. haha...but see it from another light ya, good things are worth the wait. =)

Do i really have such a dubious character? Am i really capable of executing such behaviors? It's scary to think that people can think me as that scary.

yet another random entry.

goodnight all.

Ever so sweet,
You baked it in cakes for me.
were you left behind,
It hurts my teeth...
Bring in the past with the postcards you sent for me...
Every line,
It brings me right back down.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

( eat + zzz + ATTEMPTED studying + eat + zzz + even lesser attempted studying + eat + zzz + even even lesser attempted studying ) X infinity = STUPID FATTY BOM BOM!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Read my dream..

I got whacked in the head by someone. I was rushed to the hospital and eventually died of loss of blood. Came outta my body and some angel in white ( i think it was fann wong though ) brought me to a place claiming it's life after death.

We took a stroll and saw my funeral etc. i actually saw my own coffin being pushed into the fire place thing.

Thereafter, we walked into this room. And i saw my entire stats class in white. Apparantly, my whole stats class died as well. which means i still had to attend stats lessons.



Monday, November 06, 2006

I dono what's going on with me. Must be the exam stress or smth. I've been talking weirdly. Oddly, i feel like chandler. Oh god, save me.
When one wants things to work this way, things always have to go the other. So why do we even want? Haven't we learnt? We should stop wanting. Coz wanting is baaaaad.
It'll be interesting to take a day off one day and switch roles with god. I sit above and watch while he struggles around with daily life. Will it be so funny then?
We're all like tiny ants. As a matter of fact, pawns. We're all pawns. Controlled like a game. And when we lose our value, we're called home.
in conclusion?
we're just pawns.
oh you useless human emotions. Please get out of my amygdala and stop bothering me. The same goes for you, hippocampus! just.scram.
In a totally different matter,
Serena dropped by my room today. And we had a looooooong chat from my room to comms hall. Funny how we never did speak in JC yet realise only now that we can actually communicate quite well.
you can come find me anytime you want. And i think what you said, how you analysed it was really sensible and mature. stay strong. =)
Elliott smith rocks. He never fails to put down emotions into words.
It's always been,
wait and see.
A happy day,
and then you pay.
Feel like shit,
the morning after.

Nicely done by yasa. These are only those frm 04s307. =)
"Research suggests that avoidance is the best approach of conflict management where conflict has become socioemotional. At the same time, conflict avoidance should not be a long-term solution because it increases the other party's frustration.

Yielding behaviors may give the other side unrealistically high expectations, thereby motivating them to seek more from you in the future. In the long run, yielding may produce more conflict rather than resolve it. "

I don't need this now.
Not now.
i've got better things to do.

shame on you.
So very the childish.

just leave me alone wont you?

KnEw all about,
about your reputation.
And how it's bound to be a heartbreak situation.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

A''s a super girl yvonne talking:

I had the best birthday ever this year.
Many thanks to Pei Lin for masterminding the whole thing and lying to me.

Thank you 52-ers for the decoy party, that puny cake (haha), the nice sparklers and 'fireworks' rain, the wonderful wonderful presents, the ADM slides, the BIGGER cake, the friends, being wonderful hosts, the very beautiful tissue card and..too many to name!

Thank you 04s307 girls and guy for making the trip down, for the pleasant surprise, for the dirt, the monkey photos, the beer, the lies, the food, the singing sessions, the presents, the colage ( yasa )...

Thank you Alfred and jasmine for the most unexpected gifts at the most unexpected hr. I'm really surprised. =D

also, the dozens of smses. before, during and after. wahaha. One great thing about birthdays is..i realise alot of ppl still rem me. :D Outta the blue, u'll get msgs from friends u thought u've lost contact with. of course, that'll mean i've been a lousy friend. Coz i nv did wish em. :(

Alright..this is getting far too mushy for me. The bottom line is, I really enjoyed myself this yr. And i was really glad to see both sides together.

i shall let the picture do the talking now:

MANY MANY thanks to everyone for their hardwork. Especially Tan Pei Lin. It was a novel idea. and i love it alot! :)

So this thank you entry was written since....1/11/06. But i didn't had the time to fine tune it..
Exam heat is on. I took a flip in my organiser today and realised that i wont have enough time to finish studying.

Damn. What have i been doing with my time?

I guess i'm not cut out for real studying afterall.
Those wordy text books and useless lect notes casts zzzing spells.

Choosing JC then was the biggest mistake of my life. To hell with it. If any kids are reading this, listen to yvonne jie jie..


I probably wont be updating anymore till after the exams. Feels like i'm taking the As together with the other J2s.

Speaking of which... all the best to all you ppl out there! get those As! most of u deserve it. :)
ENJOY ur 8 months thereafter. Better cherish every single day coz if u waste it like me, u'll live in regret. I'm speaking from experience. haha..

business makes me miss econs. -_-''

I don't know what it is,
that makes me feel like this.
I don't know who you are,
but you must be some kind of superstar.

Monday, October 30, 2006

FOC part 1

our unglam days.

sjabians, i had to kop ur cheer. we needed something TRIBAL. wahaha. =)
FOC part 2

Saturday, October 28, 2006

" I have no questions. It was very well presented. " - Arnand.

great job! we did it! woooo hoooo!
OB overload!

The past couple of days were both great and tiring. Packed with obnd obnd obnd. madness. But i think poor jas suffered more. Thanks for accompanying me laaa. =)
For one, i'm glad that bondings are taking place and 'THE HALLERS' were formed..haha..but i'm quite sick of the idea of changing class, and hence, in a way.. changing friends next sem.

Can't things always stay the same?
Imagine this going to take place every sem. It kills.

Went for squash the other day. It was fun! Until i realised that squash's skills are totally opposite from badminton. When it dawned on me, i lost focus. Everything else was like on auto-pilot. I think squash's cool..and it'll be good if i can learn more of it. But this means i'ld have to give up on what i've learnt from badminton. Those years spent.. all washed down the drain. All those trainings, all the money.

I loved badminton.
And it took me some time to learn the footings etc.


truth behold..
Ever since i came here, i've practiced less of badminton. In fact, if we're looking at serious trgs, none. All i do now is eat..and frisk.

No sports, no sweat. Just oil and food.

I need to be distracted by something once again.

I'ld really take up squash with no qualms if it wasn't for badminton. But those who knows me, knows me. I have a weak stomach. I can put in all the effort in this..but if my stomach decides to act up once again, who's to say how my effort would (appr) to be?

i really liked it though..

sometimes it's really hard to put things to words. These emotions boiled up. Have anyone felt the same way? why have i grown to be such a man of pretence?

Ignorance is bliss.
It indeed is.
But there are some things where truth needs to be known.

Brain, will you please stop talking?
It's hard for me to hear who is who.
Brain, will you please stop thinking?
I'm feeling like such a fool.

stereotyping. How typical of human.

I need a swim.

I have lotsa kok to talk lately. Probably due to the extreme lack of zzz.
anyway, time to zzz. goodnight everybody.
Drink up with me now,
and forget all about.
the pressure of days,
Do as i say.
And i'll make you ok.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Talking Cock in Parliament - Hossan Leong

Check this video out.
A lil history of singapore in the funniest manner.
Buffering's a lil long but it's worth it.
Be patient.

Talk kok in parliament somemore!

I wanna go vivocity! :(
But looks like i gotta give this tuesday's trip a miss.
So much things to do, so little time.

I'm supposed to be studying throughout the night but i got hooked with youtube once again. Stupid bad habit.

Been packed down with projects after projects. It's really fun doing em IF we didn't have our exams to worry about. In a way, i guess uni's a lil like JC. 3 yrs is too packed. besides, i have trouble getting used to the 1-chap-in-2-hrs, 1-tb-in-3-months study pattern. It's TOO PACKED.

Imagine hall life without exams, without lessons, without studies. Just pure chilling our with friends...

when will life ever be so kind to us?

My own house seems so foreign to me now. Even fender no. 1 doesn't recognise me anymore. I guess there's many ways to see uni experience. It can be labelled as the " freedom " stage or the " detached frm home, detached frm world " stage. I'll definitely not wanna give it a miss though..part of life, i suppose.

so kl and i went to the airport to study last night. Failed attempt. I was too sleeeeeeeepy! And kl was too engross in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. wahaha... we shall try it again k? But this time, tell me in advance so i can zzz first, pls. haha..

I hope the haze dies down soon.
After 2 weeks, i finally had the chance to read the papers last night.. apparantly, the west is the worst hit.
no wonder i've been falling sick all the time.
Told u it must be the west air.
This dumb flu better leave too.
Already i've missed one presentation..
enough torture.

Funny how the newpaper speaks of the man who committed suicide via jumping onto the MRT tracks since thursday yet the straits times has no news of it at all.

a super random entry.
I better head off to bed then.

I can’t take it.
What am I waiting for?
I’m still breaking,
I miss you even more.
And I can’t fake it,
The way I could before.
I hate you but I love you,
I can’t stop thinking of you.
It’s true,
I’m stuck on you.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Something's not quite right.
And i can't seem to point out what it is..
no, i don't think it's you anymore.
Something strong's trapped inside this pathetic mind.
Something which is aching to escape and seek what it seeks.

Every man puts on a mask.
And as we grow older, these mask grows thicker.
this mask is so powerful, it convinces even the man behind it himself.
But what good is a world with no truth?
What good is a place where everyone hides and lies?
Whatever happened to trust?
Why must we doubt?
Why must we lie?
Where did purity and niave-ness disappear to as we become wiser?
So many questions.

Funny that as man gain knowledge, they actually become stupid-er.
How hypocritical.

If only i have the money to travel out now...
Out to a place where poverty reigns.
Where simplicity triumphs.
I wanna go there and do my social work.
I wanna do nothing but fulfill the purpose of man.
I wanna get down and dirty, experiencing the true essence of life.
I wanna realise my dream again and again and again.
And as i do so, maybe i'll be more contented with what i am.
And not lament on what a loser this soul has become.

It's only when you make others smile can you smile with glow.

stop 'frisking', yvonne!

I guess psycho's really getting on to me.

Big apology to cecilia, wendy and jia yun. I really can't help tml. Head's killing me now.

So i leave with this tonight..

Sound the bugle now - play it just for me.
As the seasons change - remember how I used to be.

Now I can't go on - I can't even start.
I've got nothing left - just an empty heart.

I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight.
There's nothing more for me - lead me away...
Or leave me lying here

Sound the bugle now - tell them I don't care.
There's not a road I know - that leads to anywhere.

Without a light - i fear that i will stumble in the dark.
Lay right down - decide not to go on.

Then from up high - somewhere in the distance,
There's a voice that calls - remember who you are.
If you lose yourself - your courage soon will follow.

So be strong tonight -
remember who you are.

Monday, October 16, 2006

a'right folks! here's the pic frm mos!

Xplat-ed yesterday. it's paintball in a cooler name. Quite fun actually...except that the time IN the 'shooting range' was too short. I think it was a good bonding activity. If only they opened more lots for 52's freshies :( or more freshies for that matter..

They call us... ' THE BLUESIES. ' orignial. spastic face i have there, btw.

Proceeded to ang mo kio for some porridge buffet after that. Those ppl in my team sure can eat! You should see how they gobble their food away. And how excited everyone was when the first bubble appeared. ( an indication that the soup is boiled and we can start diggin in. ) Anyway, i didn't really had much appetite then..guess i was tired already.

Just look at how much food we have? and this was only the FIRST round.

On the whole, i had fun yesterday. :)

Checked out hall X's forum for the first time today. Found a couple of pics.

Look at this from investiture..

The photographer decided to take a picture of us being natural, having our daily conversations. But look who decided to act cute behind?

Thereafter, the same photographer ( i assume ), decided to take us 52-ers as we posed away..

And look at who is STILL acting cute behind.

wahaha..kidding Jas! =)

Ever since i started staying in hall, my body's immunity have been going from bad to worst. Fell sick so many times already. And i think i'm gonna fall sick again. Been sneezing the whole day coupled with this cursed sorethroat and that frequent feel-like-vomitting spells. urgh! i think that's a sign that i should start exercising again.

Oh ya, some girl(s) in block 52, level 2, ( not you, pl. not you, fh. not you, estelle. not you, hui sian. not you, yee sim. definitely not me. ) have a big problem in passing motion. Both big and small. They're like all over the toilet seats!

yes, i mean both big and small.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Great dream,
bad reality.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

ONLY ONE - Yellowcard
Something's breaking up,
I feel like giving up.
I won't walk out until you know..

Here I go!
scream my lungs out and try to get to you,
You are my only one.
I let go,
but there's just no one, no one like you,
You are my only,
my only one.
Tertiary fling @ MOS last night.
It was great clubbing experience with the 52-ers esp with all the scandals and stuff. =D
Definitely would've been even better if it wasn't carried out at that daunting place.

But on the FOREside, i'm psyched to see the POW-made-PTI shannon and pom pom last night. It's been a long time since we met up..esp with shannon.

kl, you should've been there. The music was much better than what we experienced before.

Staying in hall requires alot of give and take. There is no about you but more of an about us. Neighbours and friends have to be there ard one another all of the time. That's what i like about it. The support that we have to give one another, the inter-reliance, the joy and the tears. There are no mothers for us to throw tantrums on, no maids to do up your bed, no grandmothers to cook taken-for-granted meals. Everything's new. You'll be surprised to see friends who were spoilt at home taking initiatives and behaving responsibly suddenly. Friends are a very important factor of life. One little nudge, a single touch. These signifies lotsa expressions. And i'm ashamed to say i'm not much of a good friend but hey, i'm trying to learn. To make up for it, i shan't only nudge. I'll give a hard push, yea?

a'right, enough with talking kok.

Here's what happened at OB presentation yest:

BEFORE presentation..

" Another solution we propose is to help the employees adapt to the new change.. Via formulating team guidelines. Instead of making their own descisions... bla bla bla. "

DURING presentation..

" Another solution we propose is to -BLANK- via -BLANK -. Instead, -BLANK - - BLANK - - BLANK - "

oh yvonne,
you nervous wreck.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

The Smelly Cat Song

Check it out, check it out!
Totally dig this show!
Amazing how they can perk up the life of one.
Friends are such gems.

Smelly cat, smeeeelly cat,
what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smeeeelly cat,
it's not your fault.
They won't take you to the vet,
you're obviously not their favourite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses,
you're not a friend to those with noses.

You disgust me with your words.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Haze's back again. :(

Went over to fang hui and estelle's room earlier on to get help with stats. While i was partially dozing off on fang hui's bed, a bee ( or so we thought ) flew out. The 3 of us scooted frm one end of the room to the other in hope of avoiding the bee.

Eventually, it hit the ceiling fan and landed on the table. Turned out to be a beetle afterall. Fang hui summoned up her courage and used about 2 pieces of tissue to try and grab it. But she screamed the very moment she was in contact with that thing. Given her never-say-die behavior, she tried once more but failed once again, at the gross-ness of touching an insect.

Estelle eventually managed to squish it. Not after much screams of course.

you go peagent queen!

Don't deem me as useless just yet. I volunteered to use estelle's tb to smack it ok! And that took alot of courage. Afterall, i might get whacked by estelle for volunteering her book. wahahha. =)

The best part is, when estelle opened the door to throw the small corpse, dear fender was waiting quietly outside the door..probably attracted by the screams and laughters. Upon seeing my lovely cat, she screamed..yet again. haha... fang hui, intrigued by the scream, went out to take a look at what was happening... and screamed once more.

tsk tsk.

there goes our quiet, peaceful 52 environment.


talk kok.

ain't gonna take me down no way.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Went out for a spin with Steven..
Just to clear my head.

It was a looooong journey. Stumbled upon some beach place. Quite cool for fishing but it's super far in.

Anyway, i beat my top. on the way back, without warning me much ( he only said, " bend down when i bend. " ), we went up to 210. His top is 230. I'm nearing it!

Came back into ben's room for his post bday celeb thing. We spoke of many things.. until somehow, steven brought in the topic of religion.


My god..
I've long forgotten how it feels like to kneel down and pray. To listen to the priest's sermons. To nod my head, to reflect and to thank. I can't even remember the mass's sequence.

his words are no longer of much importance to me. To some extend, i believe it's all just bull. How else can u explain some of the ppl i've met?

someone has to be blamed, right? haha..

oh, and if you're wondering, xie's friend's cat is found. She was in the neighbour's house all along. So much for the bawling and deformed face.

soooo....does public blog really make one vulnerable?

For a person who doesn't intend to keep this blog, i'm talking alot.

Father into your hands,

i commend my spirit.

Father into your hands,

why have you forsaken me?

In your eyes,

forsaken me.

In your thoughts,

forsaken me.

In your hearts,

forsa-ken, meee.

Ever watched jim carrey's 'the trueman show'?

What if one day we woke up,
and realised that our lives are actually dictated step by step?
planned from the very beginning,
watched 24-7?

what would you do?

Mine will look veeerrrrryyy stupid.

Now, hush little baby, don't you cry.
Everything's gonna be alright.

Monday, October 09, 2006

hmmm.. where's the title bar?

on this very special day, i shall try my hand at this public blog thing once again. Can't believe i'm actually doing this.

Oh well, a source of stress- relief i suppose.

Haze cleared up pretty well today.

Studying for close to 24 hrs straight was GOOOOD. we should do it more often :)

a'right, i've got a feeling, very soon..this blog will be abandoned together with the many millions of deserted ones.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Welcome. Welcome.

so...FINALLY. i'm giving this public blog thing a shot.

Lets just tryyyyy.

This haze is a killer! It's given me headaches.

Was at xie's friend's place at 3 plus when everyone noticed that one of her cat is missing. After checking with the neighbour, and to no avail, xie's friend turned around, faced us and suddenly bawled like a small baby,

Picture a 17 year old crying at the corridoor in the middle of the night, followed by 8 teenagers roaming level to level for a missing cat.