Friday, August 27, 2010

Meaningless existence.

Have you ever wondered what the point of ur being here ever means? It's a Friday evening and I'm roamng abt suntec's carrefour waiting for Ellen. It's a Friday.. I should be happy. But I'm suffering from one of those Friday blues Eng always talks about.

Why I let ppl put me down this way at work, I will never know. Some people say being a girl is easy - you find a good and rich guy, you marry him and you lead a non-eventful life.

For the slightly more adventurous, you find a good career, marry a good man, have a couple of babies and live your life making the best for your family.

If you're a guy, you suck up every shit u have at work, find a good wife and provide for her.

For every of the above scenario, u have some sorta reason to take in the hardship.

But what if you were gay? You know you'll never be able to start a family. You'll never need to provide for someone. As long as you have a roof over your head and some food on ur plate, things will still be ok. Maybbeee you have to take care of ur parents, take care of the endless obligations at home. But those will end one day. Then what?

How will you know what's ur self worth? How will you know what's the lowest u should go at work? Thr's no reason for you to hold on. But there's no reason for you not to either.

Without the answer to why you're here, how will you have self-respect?

It's been a long time since I've been here. Long time since I can talk without thinking.

Maybe Ellen is therapeutic after all.


Thursday, August 26, 2010

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I feel like I should be contented but I'm not.

I want more.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Monday, August 23, 2010

Humans should not be the reason to stay because humans never stays.

I'm no stranger to that but it is so fucking hard to practice what you preach.
come back soon.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Time to say bye bye.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Feeling extremely insecure.

So little time,
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
and I don't feel the same.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Is it worth it to stifle my lifestyle for an underpaid, unhappy job?

Or am I just being cocky?

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Getting a tad too sensitive lately, aren't I?

Sunday, August 01, 2010

I see my name in shinning light.