Monday, November 27, 2006

Tomorrow this time, i'm gonna be a free man!

I can predict that tml's paper's gonna be quite screwed. but i really can't be bothered anymore. My brain's too saturated. Ms seah's right..the good thing about uni is that it practices a modular system. So after the exams, we can go all out and forget everything we've studied. woo hoo! I can only hope now that my project and quiz's grades can help me scrap across to a passing grade for stats.

really man, jc stats is nothing compared to uni's stats.

I should be going to bed now..but not till i tell the world my exciting plan next week:

tml - EXAMS END! lunch with hallers! council retreat.
tuesday - canoeing! ( f.i.n.a.l.l.y. )
wed - break camp. back to hall. WALLA WALLA with 52-ers.
Thurs - hangover day. probably cs, cs and more cs.
fri - steamboat @ marina w 52-ers. sjab trg camp.
Sat - Hiking.
sun - sjab camp.
mon - break camp. back to hall. pub mtg.

i'm going to be FIT again i tell you. Fit, black and really cool. wahaha.

I haven't been going home for a month now. and it seems like i won't be going back for another week.

unfilial brat.
and i haven't even told my mum that i'll be at camp. NVM, ignorance is bliss. Just let her believe that exams are gonna drag to next week.

i don usually list out my activities like that. but.. HOW COOL IS THAT?!

for's back to the books and e bed. :(

Ms Tan's bringing the odac kids to mt kinabalu tml. Again. hahaha..she sounded really sick of it. and i wont blame her. She has been climbing that and ophir like 3-4 times alrdy. i think she can memorise the route alrdy. if only i wasn't having my exams now. I could've gone with her. sigh.. i wish i wish...

My family organised a chalet cum bbq at sentosa tonight. I know my aunt put in alot of effort in coordinating everything..seeing from the thousand and one emails i received frm her. But i can't make it coz of the exams and Alvin can't too. Now i feel so bad. Especially after hearing from mother how disappointed she sounded when she found out we're not going. I guess they're right. Everyone's growing up so fast. No one has time for the family anymore. Sometimes i think my family's hilarious. People my generation always play cool and talk adult-ishly whilst the previous generation folks thinks they're accomodating to us by talking baby talk. Sometimes i wish i can be more filial and pay more respect towards em. But when i'm with em, i always find that they are so... dysfunctional. oh well, i guess it's time i change my mindset.

a'right folks. i'm shutting down.
All the best to everyone taking the final paper tml and to e nus peeps. PUSH! :)

kl, jia you!
don't give up.
it'll be over soon. =)

My best men.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

despite the weekly fogging,


itchy witchy, scratchy watchy,
up and down my backy wacky.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Just like a rollercoaster.
These things in my amygdala goes up and down with no prior warning.

So beaten.

I can use no other words to describe.
I wish it'll just leave.

I don't even know what's in here anymore.
So heavy.

What do you believe?
That you shape life or does the environment shape it?

There is only a limit to how much we can control our life.
a mere.... 10%?
optimistically, 15%.
So what happens to the other 85%?

let me ask another question:

does bliss today mean darkness tomorrow?
If it's so,
do you want bliss?

Yvonne goh, you're so full of shit.

a chat with a friend today made me helluva better.
Although cant. 11 toilet was a terrbile setting,
Thanks for your shoulders.
Thanks for understanding without me having the need to open my mouth.
Thanks for responding so promptly.

Friends are wonderful people.
If you make the right ones.

It's frightful how people change.
Yet on the other hand,
it's delightful how people change.

1.5 hrs of cs definitely calmed me down alot.

It's weird to receive good luck msgs frm michelle and wenee seeing that they're the ones taking A levels this year. no more studying together. :( Nevertheless, i'm happy for them all. Their As are OVER! I could still remember how elated i was. Then.

i'm so off-focused. must be the last-paper syndrome. CANNOT CANNOT. PUSH PUSH PUSH! all the way to the end! one more only. you wanna regret ah?!

tomorrow is a new day.
A brand new beginning.
I shall stay focused. I shall have the self-discipline. Everybody, work with me.

There'll come a day where i'll say how much i miss staying in hall. How much I'll miss going through the life i'm having now. Rather than being a loser and lamenting on how i never made full use of it, why don't i live it up now?

I've been saving all the letters,
that i wrote to you.
Each one a line or two.
i'm fine baby,
how are you?

Friday, November 24, 2006

die. addicted to cs.


Wednesday, November 22, 2006

So be wise,
and keep on,
reading the signs of my body.
12 pm: wake up.
12:45 pm: eat brunch.
2 pm: study.
6++ pm: Stop studying.
7 pm: dinner.
7:45 - 10pm: SLACK.
10pm - 3am: study.
4:30am: zzz.

and the cycle goes on.

tsk tsk. Asking for trouble.

Looking forward to council retreat.
I hope everyone's gonna be there.
It's time to relive ol' sec sch days.

Just like a De'javu.
The same thing happened last yr.
Big A's, council retreat, prom.

only that things were a tad different then.

When you told me that you loved me,
were those just words?
You can't tell me you don't need me.
And i know that hurts.
Coz i'm looking at your picture,
coz it's all i've got.
Maybe one day you and me have,
one more shot.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Yvonne Goh! you stupid fool!

ask, ask, ask!
so kpo for what?!

haven't you learnt?


one phrase, 3 words.
so hard to remember meh?!

see la,
now how?

ohk hak already la!

good for you lor.
so kpo.
never learn from mistakes.


regret now?
regret right?


Saturday, November 18, 2006

Walking down the other side of the road.

Only two days into the exams and i'm behaving like it's already the last.

It's 6:30 am now and the 5 of us are gathered in my room waiting for steven to come back with sup-fast ( supper cum breakfast.) This is a real sinful sight. Earlier on, we went to jp's pizza hut to eat somemore. In what way do we look any prepared for exams?


2 more papers, 2 more weeks to go. It'll be over soon. It'll be over soooon.

There's a new bus route out for the exams weeks. A and B are taken off and bus D will be running the opposite direction of C. It was my first time travelling that direction yesterday and i realised there were many things on the other side of the road that i didn't notice before.

And it struck me.

I guess that's what we have to do with life too. Sometimes, instead of sterotyping certain things, we should stop, take a break and walk the other direction. It might be surprising to see things we overlooked while getting comfortable with the old, usual one.

Take a break, smell the roses.

Friends plays an important part in one's lives. Some have good, solid friends who shared joys and woes. Some have many friends who happen to cross each other's path at certain point of each's journey. I am lucky. I have both.

We were talking about lotsa kok ( As usual ) earlier upstairs. Unknowingly, the topic of death came into the picture and we spoke quite detailed-ly of funeral procedures, how it was to see a coffin being pushed into the flames, how it was to collect the ashes. Ashes. After struggling with life, that is what we're all going to be reduced to. And, i thought of Jin and dad.

Its been years. Too many yrs.

Reflection mood back on.

I pictured many people being burned after dying. I pictured some people who were important to me.

Someone nice told me recently, " forgive and forget. "

i'm trying and i should.

a'right, the sky's bright, the food's eaten.

It's time to zzz and get fat.

Goodnight everyone.

I am warning you, Javert.

I'm a stronger man by far.

There is power in me yet,

my race is not yet run!

Friday, November 17, 2006

I asked my love,
to take a walk.
To take a walk,
down orchard road.
Bypass mandrin,
to centerpoint.
where we had lunch,
At macdonalds'.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Waiting for exams to come is sooooo agonising.

The first batch of people have gone to take their exams. And they all came back gloomy. I thought uni was supposed to be less stressful and mind-grabbing than jc. I was so wrong.

my turn tml. :(

oh yvonne, stop being a weakling!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

experiencing cognitive dissonace.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The grass is always greener on the other side.

kl was right..

when i was in jc, i used to tell her how much i miss gvss and how jc was stupid - their syllabus were dumb, their sch hours were dumb, their upbringing was dumb. Yet now, i miss that stupid school.


So another futile day went by with nothing much entering my head. Estelle said that she's scared because she's not scared. I think that made alot of sense. The stress is more on the fact that i've been wasting my hours plain reading with nothing entering that hollow space in my head.

there's this sharp pain extending from head, through my eyes, down my neck to my shoulder. My apologies to those i snapped at today. A whole day of head-pains definitely made my temper bad. :(

Heard that Georg Bush is coming over this thurs, fri and sat and because of it, the As and Os that's gonna fall on those days will be pushed back by an hr. I know michelle ends her paper on friday and i think wen ee also. My condolences. haha...but see it from another light ya, good things are worth the wait. =)

Do i really have such a dubious character? Am i really capable of executing such behaviors? It's scary to think that people can think me as that scary.

yet another random entry.

goodnight all.

Ever so sweet,
You baked it in cakes for me.
were you left behind,
It hurts my teeth...
Bring in the past with the postcards you sent for me...
Every line,
It brings me right back down.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

( eat + zzz + ATTEMPTED studying + eat + zzz + even lesser attempted studying + eat + zzz + even even lesser attempted studying ) X infinity = STUPID FATTY BOM BOM!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Read my dream..

I got whacked in the head by someone. I was rushed to the hospital and eventually died of loss of blood. Came outta my body and some angel in white ( i think it was fann wong though ) brought me to a place claiming it's life after death.

We took a stroll and saw my funeral etc. i actually saw my own coffin being pushed into the fire place thing.

Thereafter, we walked into this room. And i saw my entire stats class in white. Apparantly, my whole stats class died as well. which means i still had to attend stats lessons.



Monday, November 06, 2006

I dono what's going on with me. Must be the exam stress or smth. I've been talking weirdly. Oddly, i feel like chandler. Oh god, save me.
When one wants things to work this way, things always have to go the other. So why do we even want? Haven't we learnt? We should stop wanting. Coz wanting is baaaaad.
It'll be interesting to take a day off one day and switch roles with god. I sit above and watch while he struggles around with daily life. Will it be so funny then?
We're all like tiny ants. As a matter of fact, pawns. We're all pawns. Controlled like a game. And when we lose our value, we're called home.
in conclusion?
we're just pawns.
oh you useless human emotions. Please get out of my amygdala and stop bothering me. The same goes for you, hippocampus! just.scram.
In a totally different matter,
Serena dropped by my room today. And we had a looooooong chat from my room to comms hall. Funny how we never did speak in JC yet realise only now that we can actually communicate quite well.
you can come find me anytime you want. And i think what you said, how you analysed it was really sensible and mature. stay strong. =)
Elliott smith rocks. He never fails to put down emotions into words.
It's always been,
wait and see.
A happy day,
and then you pay.
Feel like shit,
the morning after.

Nicely done by yasa. These are only those frm 04s307. =)
"Research suggests that avoidance is the best approach of conflict management where conflict has become socioemotional. At the same time, conflict avoidance should not be a long-term solution because it increases the other party's frustration.

Yielding behaviors may give the other side unrealistically high expectations, thereby motivating them to seek more from you in the future. In the long run, yielding may produce more conflict rather than resolve it. "

I don't need this now.
Not now.
i've got better things to do.

shame on you.
So very the childish.

just leave me alone wont you?

KnEw all about,
about your reputation.
And how it's bound to be a heartbreak situation.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

A''s a super girl yvonne talking:

I had the best birthday ever this year.
Many thanks to Pei Lin for masterminding the whole thing and lying to me.

Thank you 52-ers for the decoy party, that puny cake (haha), the nice sparklers and 'fireworks' rain, the wonderful wonderful presents, the ADM slides, the BIGGER cake, the friends, being wonderful hosts, the very beautiful tissue card and..too many to name!

Thank you 04s307 girls and guy for making the trip down, for the pleasant surprise, for the dirt, the monkey photos, the beer, the lies, the food, the singing sessions, the presents, the colage ( yasa )...

Thank you Alfred and jasmine for the most unexpected gifts at the most unexpected hr. I'm really surprised. =D

also, the dozens of smses. before, during and after. wahaha. One great thing about birthdays is..i realise alot of ppl still rem me. :D Outta the blue, u'll get msgs from friends u thought u've lost contact with. of course, that'll mean i've been a lousy friend. Coz i nv did wish em. :(

Alright..this is getting far too mushy for me. The bottom line is, I really enjoyed myself this yr. And i was really glad to see both sides together.

i shall let the picture do the talking now:

MANY MANY thanks to everyone for their hardwork. Especially Tan Pei Lin. It was a novel idea. and i love it alot! :)

So this thank you entry was written since....1/11/06. But i didn't had the time to fine tune it..
Exam heat is on. I took a flip in my organiser today and realised that i wont have enough time to finish studying.

Damn. What have i been doing with my time?

I guess i'm not cut out for real studying afterall.
Those wordy text books and useless lect notes casts zzzing spells.

Choosing JC then was the biggest mistake of my life. To hell with it. If any kids are reading this, listen to yvonne jie jie..


I probably wont be updating anymore till after the exams. Feels like i'm taking the As together with the other J2s.

Speaking of which... all the best to all you ppl out there! get those As! most of u deserve it. :)
ENJOY ur 8 months thereafter. Better cherish every single day coz if u waste it like me, u'll live in regret. I'm speaking from experience. haha..

business makes me miss econs. -_-''

I don't know what it is,
that makes me feel like this.
I don't know who you are,
but you must be some kind of superstar.