Can't help but feel like I'm nursing you to health just so I can send you back straight into his arms.

Battled these thoughts when you were ill. But at that time your recovery mattered more. And I thought I could be man enough to deal with it when the time comes..

But I'm apparently still a bloody guniang.

I'm not gracious enough.
Nor am I brave enough.

But on what bloody grounds can I allow myself to feel this way?
So I gotta mask them all good and well and not be a wimp in front of you or my friends.

But after the mess I was last night,
I don't think I can hang on much longer.

I feel chained.
To a million different people,
To a billion different things.

And all just to cheapen myself.
How did I allow myself to be like that?

I really miss Yellowstone.