Took a slow stroll from the school to the playground last night.
The whole journey there, I kept thinking back on the conversation we had.
And the times we've shared.

I think I was a little too harsh.
But I am angry.

Angry that you could spend the entire day not letting me in on your status only to drop a bombshell like that.
That you could ask me to talk to you about things only to run away when things get heated.
Angry that you are going back to the easy way out.
Angry that you are not fighting for anything.
Not even yourself.
Angry that I don't know the answer to the many of my questions.

But I shouldn't have made my words sound like I did not believe that she's sick.
I don't doubt that she's sick. just that it may not be as sickly as how it seems.
That's what long weekends does to her. Not that I like it but that's just the way it is.
But it gets really frustrating when everyone comes up to you trying to dig for information about how sick she is or hints for you to psycho her to do otherwise.
And it's so much easier to tackle those attempts IF I knew what's really wrong. Otherwise all I can do is give some lame excuse and siam.

Before the bloodbath yesterday, someone asked me who I trusted more - her or her. Not paying much attention to the details then, I quickly answered that I trusted her more. But soon as I said that, I knew - with more certainty than I knew of myself - that that was not true.

She, I trust more. The only problem is on what grounds we're comparing it upon. I actually think she's been telling me all the truth. For everything. but my mind's been meddling with my believe. If it were for me to decide, I think she hasn't lied much.. but she's been hiding things. That's what kills me. But then again, what if she's hiding things so she won't hurt me?

Guess I don't make things a whole lot easier for her either.

I don't even know what I should do now since I don't know her bloody stand.

It's just feeling more and more like the MIA days. And you know how much I detest that.

You see that's why I don't have a good impression of you hanging out with him. It's like everytime that happens, you drop back down to this.

or is this your choice?

I don't know.

Hate long weekends.

And I really have to stop listening to angry songs.

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight.