Saturday, February 19, 2011

Funny how I can just type non stop when I'm talking about other things but I keep losing my focus, losing the choice of words when it comes to blogging about us now.

I am struggling between using my will power to let go and caving in.

Her recent bout of mood swings, attitude and confidence worries me. But I have to keep reminding myself that he's the one now. The hardest part is doing it fully aware that it's not doing her any good.

I really don't want to fall back into being that jealous type person anymore. I don want to only be her prized possession.

But I get so frustrated when I see how she's letting herself slip into her own abyss. Quoting ah Bert, it's like losing a part of myself.

And on days I get so wrked up and feel the power to regurgitate (spell?) everything verbally, i choke. I think it's best we clear the air because we are obviously misreading everything each other says or does but i fear coming clean with her because we have far too much misunderstandings. I feel like everything I say she reads wrongly.

It's like she thinks I'm out to doom her.

And our pride are holding us back from explaining ourselves.

Anyway I really think she's going to be better after this weekend.

One day she'll know I care. For now I can only lun.

And I'm going to post this up this time.

Good afternoon.




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