Just done with a steamboat session with Celia and wichan. Solem day today. We still had fun and it's always a joy to talk kok with em but anyone can see that deep sense of dread looming in the air.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hated goodbyes? Feels like someone's leaving Yellowstone all over again. Of course not as drastic but Celia and I bonded very much over e last few nights at yellowstone and I'm suddenly hit with that experience of bidding farewell once more.

All through my 3 mths at yellowstone, I've always only known Celia as that crazy Taiwanese living beside me who throws ice down my back when I'm not looking and cooks me noodles at night when I'm hungry.

We only truly grew closer on e last couple of nights when I was rushing kelsey's photo album. I remember how she kept making fun of my poor art sense and was all dramatic at my ugly cut outs. That night she decided to stay up with me for company and to tidy up the unsightful lose ends of the album. At the same time, we were also waiting for the sun to rise so we wouldn't fall asleep and miss Ben's departure after breakfast.

We listened to many Singapore music that night and she kept laughing at our terrible Chinese accent. As dawn neared, our eyelids started growing heavy too. The last conscious memory was of that pack of coyotes howling outside (which kinda spooked us a lil) before we both dozed off for a while. Think I was half on e bed while she was half on a chair. We jumped up tog after maybe 5 mins? And decided to squeeze onto my bed for a quick snooze. Problem was, I forgot Kelsey was supposed to wake me e next morn which she coincidentally remembered for the rare instances in her life. She burst through my door all chirpy that morn to me n Celia jumping out from under the covers. Haha. Must've been a funny sight.

That one night made goodbye a million times harder.

When I was at Bozeman with matej, Kelsey, karolina, Agata and Joe on e final night, i missed the Taiwanese girls really bad. I loved the company I had around me, of course. But thr's also a part of me that wondered what the rest were up to.

When I was back at sunny tiny singapore, Celia constantly skyped me and that went on all the way to Taiwan where she took a train ride all by herself frm Taichung to Taipei just to pick me back to Taichung immediately. We had great fun together there and she showed me the local life of Taiwan students when I was there.

Unfortunately, my hosting capabilities were like a million times worse that what she gave. I thought one month was long.. But with just a blink of the eye, she's leaving.

If it's unbelievable for me, it must be worse for wichan and her. As they took turns to pick food for the steamboat this evening, I chatted with each party and both were saying how they have been avoiding talking about celia's nearing departure. It's easy to give them advices and make them nod about being hopeful for the real test to come but god knows how tough it's gonna be.

Good thing to note though, is their faith, trust and respect in each other. It's nice to see how they both took turns taking care of each other. How they were rough but at the same time tender to the other.

Celia and wichan's visit has shown and taught me alot. I've perceived many things at yet another perspective.

It's a blessing.

Celia says she doesn't want me to send her off coz she'll cry really badly. But I don wanna not send her off too.

I hate goodbyes.

Very tired today. Like inside out tired.

Goodnight world.