I can't believe this whole holiday thing is coming to an end. And I don't know how to feel about it. I mean, it's a perm job we're talking about. THE first perm job and.. I don't even feel mature enough!

I'll be classified as old from Monday onwards yet I'm still a whiny and spoilt little brat within. How do I cope with this?

I've been living life by taking things one step at a time so far and this is one huuuggee unplanned step and.. I HATE CHANGES. So naturally, I'm freaking out. Big time.

Gotta give it to Mari though. She's been shit load patient with all my paranoia. She's been taking my panic attacks pretty cool-ly. And even though I still bring up a million and one other most random worry factors, she hasn't lost her cool with me. Not yet anyway.

I think the bottomline is, I'm afraid to carve new memories for fear of forgetting the old ones. I hate changes and I'm gonna screw up so bad.

Somebody get me a chill pill!