Started a new book recently and it has words like Ibuprofen, Advil, Grateful Dead and Granola. Words whose meaning I would never understand before America - or before meeting Mara, Kelsey, Orval and again, Orval respectively.

Makes me wonder how I was able to speed past those words in the past.

Anyways, I've been having weird pangs of emotions tonight. Amongst them all, the more frequent ones were guilt, stupidity and in-filialty. Suddenly feel like a useless prick who has spent the past 22 years doing absolutely nothing meaningful at all. I'm really too protected here. Can't even break free without having to have to fight between what I want and what my conscience says.

Expectations overload.

I'm pretty sure this is due to the upcoming interview though. It's the exact same fear I have before every major paper. And the thing is I don't understand why i should feel that way.

There were pressure from exams because I can't afford to repeat any modules but this - I mean, there's no immediate threat to anything if i screw this up. Yet, I can't screw it.

Always have problems dealing with stress like this.

Wish I could be as brave as Mara.

If you can't catch a wave,
then you're never gonna ride it.