I swear there are times where I feel like I am relay system here - only the relay system and nothing else. Neither capable of having my own stand nor capable of saying or doing anything except to get the blame.

Alvin recently got himself a motorcycle.. secretly.
Mother's been preaching to us since we were young on how she will never let her children ride a bike.
So i became the relay person.. each asking me to convince the other party.

Eventually, mother blamed it on me.. over and over again. She either insinuated that I encouraged him to buy it or directly told me how i haven't stopped him.

I hated that tone in her voice.

Truth is, I never knew he was taking lessons much less owning a bike until hours before the bike came. And fuck it, I was goddamn worried myself.

Then grandma and sui ku fought last night. She apparantly wants to disown him for not being there when the aircon man came to install a new unit. She was trembling so bad with anger last night. At one point, I was pretty sure she was at the brink of bursting into tears.

But mum ran away. She came back home, leaving me there alone to let grandma yell at.

And when I saw her, surprise surprise.. she blamed me for going to the gym and not being at home to help grandma.

I really hated that tone in her voice.

And guess what,
1) I never knew they bought an aircon.
2) Grandma was the one who nagged at me the whole morning to go to the gym because i was getting fat.


Seriously, I've never seen a more hypocritical group of people before.
I mean, maybe it's worst out there in the working world. But this is a family for crying out loud. A family who's too blinded by favourtism and their own egos.

Since that first and last fight i've had with mother after I came back, I've been taking the backseat when it comes to anything with this family. And I loved it. I love how I've found the perfect place to stay away from them all. And I don't even have to lie. I just have to do stuff to keep me healthy. It's a win-win situation!

And by taking the silent role, I hear almost every gossip about one another. And it's like.. in front of each another, they say one thing. Behind their backs, another. OMG. This is not a work place - this is a bloody family.

Except for favourtism, I can find no other reason why everyone's stepping on each other.

Even my mum!

Hell, I still don't understand why she makes such a big issue about me wanting to leave. I mean, she complains to random stranger on how she's still trying to convince me to stay... when i'm standing right there! I was referred to the third person when I was listening to it. How stupid did she take me?

But she told Alvin that she thinks it's better for her if I leave.
Alright.. then please stop pulling that pity card on me. And stop planning our future together.

I really don't get you, woman.

And Alex tells Alvin that the whole bike thing is cool. But tells mother that Alvin's always behaving so irresponsibly.

Sui ku tells us how Sui Kim's a crazy woman. But he always hides behind her when he's in trouble.. and she never once turned him down.

OMG. too much politics!

I want out. out out out.

Masquerade,
paper faces on parade.
Masquerade,
Hide your face so the world will never find you.