5 days, 5 freaking days! oh wait, it's 4 actually. Fuck.

It feels really weird.
I look at everyone now, unable to imagine how it would be like the day i leave, or for the fact that there's a chance that this could be the last time we'll be seeing each other.
And all of a sudden, I feel like a dying man who wants to fulfill all my last wishes.

Whats worse, i can't show them as overbearingly as when i'm in Singapore.
I do talk about them ever so often.. somewhat as a way to minimize the pain, i guess. But it's not as bad as how Yvonne Goh usually does it. Sometimes, Kate's words before i left the last time still pops out in my mind and i wonder if everyone's feeling the sentiment. And that makes me all suspicious and scared of everyone around me.

My mind's like a never ending battlefield. And i want it all to just STOP. Sigh.

Anyways, had dinner at a semi-fancy restaurant ( Old Faithful Inn ) with the 'UN team' today. It was a great dinner, i think. I mean, i really love the idea of spending time together. And i do so cherish every minute that's left. Except, once again, i felt weird. Not weird as in they-are-such-a-weird-group-of-friends weird.. but more of the, weird-as-in-no-words-can-describe weird.



There are so much things i would like to say.. so much within me that I feel like expressing to them. But somehow, I wonder what good this would be to everyone. Besides, I don't even know what i want to say. haha..

I really wish i could get drunk every night, so i don't have to face these creatures of the night. Or rather the creatures of my mind.

I know, Strange entry once again.
Goodnight world.

Just for the record, all in all, today was a great day. Loved how everyone dressed up, loved how we set aside time for one another. Loved how we had great laughs in the restaurant. Love that I love these people here. Maybe what's so hard about leaving is how much i love the people and the place here.

And despite how sad i am, i am seeking solace in Indian rojaking with xie and the rest. Catching up with JC gang and the other nonsensical things i always do back home. Except, I can't fully visualize things right now. Too consumed with absorbing the most i can from this place, you see.

Just.wish.the.world.wasn't.so.small.and.i.ain't.that.weird.

Alright.. really have to zzz.
Goodnight once again.

It's getting hard to, be around you.
There's so much i can't say.
Do you want me to hide the feelings?
Or look the other way.

I don't know, how to be fine when i'm not.
And I don't know how to make these feelings stop.

Just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me.
And I can't help it.
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now.

Thought you should know, I've tried my best to let go of you.
But I can't help it.
I wanna say it all before I go,
Just so you know.