i'm feeling really depressed over fyp.
most submitted their reports today.. and i'm still stuck with trying to come out with a decent one.

you know the term 'reconstructing the wheel' ? My fyp journey's exactly like that. We talk about the same things over and over again because things gets forgotten. Problems that were brought up a long long time ago were snubbed at and yet now, these are the serious problems that they are nagging at me to solve.

i wonder what happened to their arrogance when the issue was first brought up?

I really need my beer-ly fix. i can't cope with so many unfinished businesses. Really stressed, really scared. But i can't. because of fyp. tons of final year ntu students are out there celebrating, while i'm slaving here for god knows what grades.

And where are my teammates? Working at a pub tonight.

SERIOUSLY.

makes me wonder if there's a positive correaltion between being rich and being unbearable. see, too much fyp.

Is everyone in the working world going to be like this? It seems like those ard me, those working with me are slowly evolving this way. Am i supposed to face more of such selfish ppl as i move from one stage of life to another? The mere thought of it is giving me such a headache.

Been reflecting alot lately.
About how ppl are, about how i've evolved.
you know how life's about learning right? About picking things up as you go, about being a better person.
i don't feel myself doing any of it.

I see lotsa ppl having so much fun at uni. Lotsa ppl are finding themselves. But i'm doing just the opposite. I'm losing myself in this big big world.

There was one time where i used to think that the world is my oyster. Now i no longer do.
maybe it's my increasing lack of faith in god.
i used to think that things will fall into places eventually, that there's no need to worry that much. this notion has disappeared completely.
my distance with god seems to be getting further and further. I have that sudden need to be in control of my life and not taking things easily, with that unfailing faith. it's as if i've grown suspicious of my surroundings. that someone/smth out there is finding the opportunity to pounce on me. To take away everything that i've worked so hard for. Like they're watching me.

i don like being judged. i HATE being judged. but that's what the world is about. judging each other.

haven't i been judging too? all those complains and everything.

gasp!

i'm becoming...

one of them.