A couple of days ago, i wanted to post a major long article, ranting on how frustrated i am with gms and how i can't understand why almost everyone i know says that it's the most meaningful subject they're ever had in uni.

I was never more sure on how much i cannot understand the business world. That was until after 2-3 days of stress and non-stop deciphering. By then, it was the middle of the week and i was getting pretty exasperated over not understanding why i can be so different from the rest of the "business ppl".

Then i remembered about the JC days where i used to hate chemistry and maths as much as now. ok, maybe not as much as, but still, it was bad enough for me not to pay a single bit of attention in class. Apart from the wonderful not-my-class's-maths-teacher ms seah and chemistry tuiton teacher, who was actually my snr, i was also saved by Jack Neo.

yes, the producer Jack Neo. More specifically, it was ' I-not-stupid'. Can't rem if that was my first time watching the show, or the many many-th times i've watched it but there was this segment where the wanton boy said that if he wanted to master his maths, he had to "love the subject, feel for the subject, etc". or smth like that.

And i stupidly mimickd him in jc2. Turned out that it wasn't that stupid after all.

soooo, i tried applying the very same logic to gms.

AND IT WORKED AGAIN!

instead of finding reasons to run away from researching and understanding what was discussed in class, i tried to face it, google it and find the fun in it ( mary poppin's theory ) and now, the world is not as flat as it used to seem.

although i'm not exactly an expert in the world of cross-border businesses, the subject itself seems to be much more fun and meaningful than before.

The problem, however, lies in my senseless reluctant/fear/stubborness to say a single word in class. It makes me feel like however much i'm trying to help/contribute for every project, my contribution's overlooked. The teacher will never know, i don't think even my own group notices. And it's the same everywhere.

That can't do, can it? The 'slow and steady' tortise doesn't win the race anymore. It's the 'fast and efficient' rabbit that does now. i seriously need to break out of my comfort zone.

but then there's the group. it's not like it's a bad group or smth. But i somehow feel that there are too many leaders in the group and that's probably part of the reason why i can't speak up. No one's listening anymore.

it's so bad that sometimes i feel that success is no longer measured by how much you know. it's more of how you are able to make people HEAR you.

and it's not only something that exists in proj groups. even at home, i'm surrounded by self-proclaimed leaders. People who force their opinions on others. People who see themselves as the most mighty and the others, ignorant.

Sometimes i blame mtt. had he not drill so deeply in us the whole concept of servant leadership, i'ld probably get used to how things works in uni/the working world. And because of this, it seems like only the gvsc ppl can understand why i'm so hung up on this.

can you see the mockary? by breaking us out of our comfort zones then, mtt has in fact created another set of comfort zone for us.

and this time, it's up to be to break out of it.