The epitome of Christmas.

Since my head is spinning and I am in absolute no mood or condition to work, I'm gonna let my emoness take the lead.

Christmas 2010 is the ONLY christmas I have without any feel. And it's also perhaps my most trying time in the year. Strange as it is, I think I've been through a greater low in life than what I'm going through now. Nevertheless, I hope things change soon enough and that I will one day see what this period means. You know how they say that everything happens for a reason? I'm hoping I'd like the "reason."

I miss how comfortable we were. And the trust we had. I wish we could stop thinking and start acting but who's to know what to do?

At the same time, I am also aware of and am appreciative of ur efforts to step up and bridge the gap(?) - for lack of better words. Haha. Or in another words, the fact that you are now hiding less and less stuff. Don't give up. I can see you doing greater things and I can see the potential you have if you're willing to make the change. But I worry how the lure of staying in ur comfort zone may drag you down again.

Whichever the case, know that I get upset and I get angry and all because I care. because I get EXTREMELY insecure what with all the images in my head. and because I'm maybe a little afraid. but I can't say it to your face can I? Too uncool.

Likewise,

I miss my friends. And I still feel like I've let them down a whole lot. My friends who have shown me unending care and concern. I dare say what happened on sat was the final straw. No doubt they still put in the effort, but how do you accept it when guilt's eating you throughout?

My pride, my guilt and my stubbornness is what will cause me to lose them all.

But sometimes I wonder if this is what I have to do. Because if I were to choose again, I'd probably have made the same choice.

I have to do this. And I hope y'all will understand why.

Still cherish u guys.

Work.
Work's been insane! In the close to one yr here, I probably enjoyed the concert most. It's the only time I see the end in mind. I see how important it is for every "department" to work together and I see the fruits of the labour. Otherwise, I hate my job scope. I'm bored with the endless paperwork and reports. I'm sick of the sai kangs and I cannot stand sitting on my ass the whole day long. The lucky thing is I met some good people. I lost some good people too but we gotta count our blessings every now and then don't we?

I can probably list the sames of the people worth mentioning here - that's how little. But there's no need to. They know who they are.

Family.
The strongest desire to leave home is perhaps now.
I cannot accept how everyone is shifting in together.
FULLSTOP.

Xie,
you the best, man.
you and charlene, even better. haha.
Thanks for always watching my back.

Yellowstone.
Always will be the best days of my life.

oh wow. This is getting longer and more guniang than I thought it would be.
What Christmas? I might as well reserve this post for the new year.

The medicine is wearing off. Gotta run.


Merry Christmas everyone.