Life is full of contradictions isn't it?

I feel like I'm a person without a soul; without spirit or drive. But as much as I hate this auto-pilot lifestyle, I'm enjoying my lesser-obligations way of life.

Looks like the last week was the LAST week.

Been on MC the past 2 days so I can't go in for the final 2 days of work.. which is quite weird. Have you noticed? I ALWAYS fall sick on the last week of work.. like somehow my body knows everything's ending and it's not willing to hang on for a couple more days.

I don't admit it because I'm too proud to do so but I think I'm gonna be at least a lil' bummed out over having lost this job. Well, lost is not the right word but the fact lies that I'm jobless again. Getting a job, earning some money is like taking the next step towards gaining independence and being less frowned upon by the family. And now that this is over, I'm sure the " have you been applying for jobs " naggings are gonna come flooding in again.

If they are nagging because they are concerned, I can neither see or feel it. It's like they nag just for the sake of nagging.. for the sake of me not disgracing them rather than because they want their daughter/niece/that girl to grow up being successful.

So the job was good because I get to be further away from them; away from their stares and words but it compromised my exercise time, my me-time and other non-monetary things. And I'm not sure where to draw the line of being balanced.

That said, I'm also glad that it has all ended. Firstly because I was totally over-exhausted over last week's posting at Turf City. Somehow, I think the travelling was what made me so worn out. Also, it's high time I focused all my energy into applying for full-time jobs.. IF I may.

Oh, and not to mention all their surprises. Damn those " come in at 10 tomorrow " messages.

Sigh, why does it all have to be so hard?