Stress galore!

Poink and I have offcially started camping over at macs already and the stress level just keeps surging. So, i'm gonna do what i do every exams - Rant.

We've been studying at macs since Year 1 Sem 2 but only became regulars last sem. And its been morphing into some kinda "home" for us. Most of the staff can recognise us already. Even the kuey chap auntie from kou fu remembers us! and because of that, we earned ourselves free pig ear (?) from her today.. haha.. even though we NEVER really touched it.

Anyway, that's besides the point. The point is, being the last sem and all, I'm really really afraid of dabao-ing (choy!) any subjects, especially since it's my cursed/jinxed/suay sem, and so it gets harder and harder to concentrate.

Sooo, i went to 'take-5' to losen myself up a lil and suddenly, the whole notion of fate or how everything is pre-destined struck me.

I've always been a staunch believer of fate/pre-destin-y? and i loved believing it. But i haven't been thinking much about it lately and all of a sudden, 'fate' feels like such a scary thing. The idea of having no control of your life is really a frightening thought. Does it simply mean that we're like dogs being leashed and dragged around by higher powers? That everything we work so hard for is futile? Because what's going to happen to us is written somewhere out there..

But then again, won't having full control of your life be equally as scary? Because on holy days, i've loved having a god to lay my faith on. What if this god was removed? Won't that be... weird?

So, IF a choice has to be made, would it be to have no control or full control of your own life?

What a weird thought. Wasted my 5 minutes.

Guess all these steamed from the fact that this sem has been one bad news after another. For those who still don't believe, i've got another to add to the collection:

The stupid photography non-examinable elective Poink and i took ( because we thought having no exams is good ) and have spent like MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY nights snapping unsatisfactory photos have been postponing its FINAL lesson ( which was supposed to be last week ) yet again. This time, it's set on the 24th - 2 days after my supposed graduation date BECAUSE its printer is not working and still cannot be fixed!

...

See, pre-destined/jinx/suay/cursed.

Hopefully these are all blessings in disguise and even if they are, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave me soon.

ok, bad english, non-coherent post done.

goodnight.

I've got my friends, they're always there.
And someone special that i know who really cares.
But late some nights, a voice cries through.
Reminding me there'll never be another you.