it's been 5 years yet ever so often, we find her name being brought up in our gatherings. We could be laughing at some of her silly antics, sighing over some of the possibilities, crinching at every thought of what she went through when it happened. Whatever it is, we can't stop thinking about her.

How she left was a waste and i guess even though the tears have subsided, deep in our hearts, we're still mourning. I don't think we even want to stop. We need this to remember her by and to remind ourselves that she could be there with us.

I wonder where you'll be now if you were still around.

It's really a very frustrating feeling, not knowing where to find you. We hate to entertain the thought of not being able to pay respects to you again. But there's nothing we can do except to hope that someday, your mama will open up to someone we know.

"niJ niJ naT", we miss you. We really do. We've all grown up in some ways or another.. have you grown up too?

I bet everyone's thinking about you today too..