One year ago.

I really don't know if i can push on anymore. No, i have to!

I guess all the recent hu-has have been getting to me.

To let Yixin go, even though we're not that close, is really harder to accept than i imagined. Not in the very emo way, but more like because i know i haven't done my part to make her feel part of the team.

But before i can mourn over it, i find myself transfixed in another position which really striked me hard. I know not how to describe the exact feeling. It's like all the negative emotions mixed into one.

I'm literally pushed off my feet now. OCIP.. it's really what i wanted to do. It's really what i felt for. But what u've said.. made me lose my footing. It changed the previous statement from present tense to a (possible) past tense. I can't seem to stare at any related activites, not thinking about what u've said. If after talking to you for so long and so many times since the start still makes u feel this away about ocip, then i really shudder to think what others may feel.

Is this really how ppl judge OCIP? or is it ur one-sided judgement just to put me down at the heat of THAT moment? I guess we'll never know.

Peilin always says " that was one year ago. "

Funny as it is, it's really true.

One year ago, 52 was so close.
One year ago, we never judged.
Now one year later, everyone has their own lives.

The sad part is, i've begin to feel more on how plastic uni is. One's own life is all what one thinks about.

I sometimes think if i'm reacting too big to it. But, i really can't bring myself to look at you and not remember what you say and did. Even those i recently made friends with know, what other acceptable reasons have you not to?


sigh.

To sum it all,
i'm utterly disappointed.


sidenote: OCIP NOT = LOVEBITES! now and never will be.