Food for thought.

Have you ever realized that in some aspects of life, we sometimes take a short cut and choose the easier way out but by doing so, we lose valuable lessons along the way? Take my driving for example. Had I not decide to take class 3A back then, biking lessons would probably be more of a breeze right now. Or I would have been able to drive Mdm Yati's car when I first passed. Or how car rentals would have been cheaper, and with more options back then. Likewise, the same principle can be applied for many other areas in life, can't it?

Haha. I've got to stop letting my thoughts go all over the place.

It was a night down memory lane today.

In what would've been a romantic night, we went down to the Singapore Flyer for a taste of the old school days. She brought me to dinner at an ah-ma's-era themed hawker complete with food vendors on push carts and a stall selling things like old cameras, old type-writers, old phones, old beer dispenser and many more.

I loved it.

The food wasn't too delicious but the ambiance and the setting kinda made up for it. It was a waste I didn't have a proper camera with me though.

Following dinner, we took a beautiful ride around the giant Ferris Wheel and walked along a fraction of the Grand Prix before resting at a nearby shed as I did my take 5s.

While I had fun walking through 'history', I knew at the same time, we were also creating history. And I'm not sure if it's a good thing or bad.

Whichever the case, tonight is definitely gonna leave a mark on my own memory lane.

Don't get me wrong, it was a great night - I liked where I was and who I was with. But at the same time, I couldn't help but notice the nagging feeling of how I shouldn't be the one who's there. Like it was wrong of me to. And that bothered me very much.

I think that little nudge during the weekend triggered something. I'm still not certain what it was but a familiar emotion is threatening to emerge. Like a de javu of sorts. It's hard to pin point what it is exactly but even without this knowledge, I'm already feeling mentally exhausted.

So not looking forward to the full blown effect.

ANYWAY, once we got into the shed, we started talking about random stuffs. Amongst which were the times when Eng was still around.. and how I sought solace in her room and in her companionship when things were going tough then.

Recalling some of those moments brought about a concoction of mixed emotions. On the one hand, to replay some of the scenes in my mind again was like ripping off the stitches to an old wound. There were instances or two where I remembered how it felt like to be as worthless as how Gaga or mother put me as. But on the other, the chat also served to remind me of how I might have changed and learned to see people and to see colleagues in a different light over the months.

Most importantly, it reminded me of how, with god's grace, I've managed to cross paths with some remarkable people along the way.

It is times like these do I ask myself if the decision to stay at CM then was my easier or not so easy way out afterall.

OKK, what I'm trying to say is not coming out right but I am shagged to the core. Till next time then.

Goodnight me folks.