Impressions

Presentations, presentations, presentations!

I feel drowned in a world which requires us to talk, to convince, to persuade, to impress. I can't see myself, a couple of years later, standing in front of a panel of bosses trying to bring to them an idea that sounds completely nonsensical even to myself.

When i walk down the tutorial rooms, i see smartly dressed people everywhere. All ready to convince. All ready to fight. Why do i not have wills like them? They seem so sure of where they want to go, what they want to do with their life. What do i want from mine?

I can't see myself standing with such poise, such elegance, trying to carry off the 'standard business woman' look - capable, intelligent, smart. I am just not this.

Tell me why, again, am i here? What the hell am i doing in business? Who am i trying to kid? Why did i say no to something i wanted?

Only 5 weeks into school and i can already feel the pressures of exams. Have i always been like this all along? A nervous wreck who can never break away from the fears of being a failure once more.

The pressure is building up day by day. I want a rebirth. I want to set things right.

But how do i go about doing it?

Have i made another wrong move? I should stop looking back and regretting my steps and learn how to pick up the pieces instead. I should smile and take things in my stride. I should laugh at the face of presentations, seeing how much we've been drilled in itBut things are so often easier said than done. Whenever i stand in front of a crowd, i get tongue tied.

My mind's so filled with, " had i not done this ; had i not done that ; had i chose this ; had i chose that."

Presentations, presentations, presentations. I just hate them presentations.




And i don't want the world to see me,
Coz i don think that they'ld understand.