Birthday came early this Halloween..

and I liked it very much.

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
=))


Sidenote: There was another cake, another effort, another surprise from Mai, Irene and Eddy as well. Pics up when I get em.

I am so confused with you.

Eat.Pray.Love.

When I was all alone at yellowstone during the initial stages, Becky, our head chef who has been looking out for me since day one lent me her tv, a couple of good movies and the book, eat.pray.love.

I remember seeing that title in the bookstores in Singapore before so I showed special interest in it. Unfortunately before I could finish the book, Ken, matej, kate and Kelsey happened. Although I never did touch the book again, I've always felt the urge to buy it when I see it in the local bookstores. So imagine the excitement I had when I learned about the movie. Especially with Julia Roberts in it.

A couple of days back, I was battling with my down emotions again. I began asking alot of questions whose answers I couldn't receive. I vividly remember sitting on the bench by the playground asking him to appear again - just like the good ol' days at old faithful. He didnt have to give me answers. All he had to do was seat. But alas, I couldn't feel him/them. Despite the many days; albeit the many hours, he was a no-show. Together with her. I was worried, I was troubled, I was angry, confused, sad. I didn't even know how to pseudo pray anymore. So I panicked and text pl: I'm in trouble.

3 words.

The same 3 words that started the movie.

It felt like a miracle. A sign that was reinforced every now and then with the same quotes KS told me just hours before.

Eat.pray.love was like the answer to my many questions. Well not exactly answers but again, a sign that I'm not the only confused soul. It carried lotsa words that worked like inspirations to me. I proabably will never be as gung-ho as the character but hell, it's always better to imagine than to be confused all the time.

At the very least, it brought about some form of comfort for that 2.5 hrs.

Abit gay (well, YOU KNOWW) but retail theraphy works! At least for abit.

Need a huge sleeping pill.

Moulin Rouge - El Tango de Roxanne

Bet you didn't know I've always had the desire to direct my own musical.

天黑黑，黑黑。

I wish I could sleep it off like you do.

But i'm busy trying not to be busy making sense of it all.

I shake uncontrollably as the countdown to Monday begins.

Not there.

I'm near Sean nee's blk again. Everytime smth's wrong, just the knowledge that I'm near her blk makes me feel less lost.

But this time, she's not there.

Not there.

I'm near Sean nee's blk again. Everytime smth's wrong, just the knowledge that I'm near her blk makes me feel less lost.

But this time, she's not there.

The Offspring - Self Esteem

We make plans, go out at night.
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light.

Can I really not trust you?

Feeling like El Tango de Roxanne.

Now I know that I'm being used.
But that's okay man coz I like the abuse.
I know she's playing with me,
But that's okay coz I've got no self-esteem!

This could have been a happy 3 years kinda post.

How much is loyalty worth?

favorfuckingtism!

I think no matter what, I won't be able to find back the feeling of drinking with the 4 of them.

Karolina, agata, matej, Kelsey. How I miss u all so.

This is home, truly.

You know how I've always hated going home early because the very thought of being in the same room for too many hours irks me?

She doesn't irritate me by being the noble mother. It's how she's slowly morphing into grandmother that bothers me. What's worse, she talks to me like I'm her fucking employee.

How she 'covers her backside' when she talks to me or how she sends me formal emails when we're all under the same roof. She even uses terms like dividends on me.

Money corrupts. They always do. And it's happening to her too. But wait, she was the one who taught me this little lesson wasn't she?

Just imagine having to feel like a dog at work only to feel the same way at home. And that is with the never ending guilt trips she sends me.

I can only wish for her to have eyes to finally see.