Sometimes I feel like I'm brave enough to face whatever challenges thrown at me. But then when the real threat comes, I suddenly feel tired and become too lazy to fight.

Does that make me a coward?

Or does that mean that things like these are not worth fight for?

I keep forgetting that one shouldn't get too excited about something because it almost always DOES NOT HAPPEN.

i am such a childish fuck.

When I stumble upon random familiar music, I'd feel like I was shot back to moments in Yellowstone. Oh how much I miss you cool, crisp air.

non-stop dreaming of you.

You know it's all a matter of perspective but it's just so hard to see it that way.

Come my minions,
Rise for your master!
Let your evil shine!

tired...

need... sleepp....

I'm gonna work hard, gonna be self-sufficient, gonna be independent.

I'm gonna make me worth someone like Y-O-U.

I don't know why I've been blogging random one liners lately. Changes are so rampant here that I find myself fearing for what's to come next. Somehow good things seem to come and go so quickly yet bad things linger and haunt us ever so often.

I've made myself some pretty good comrades at this job.. as of every other place I've been to. And I've found comfort in some of them. But I know better than to dwell in good feelings like these. Things won't stay this way for sure and now, I fear 'goodbyes' before 'hello' even begins. I don't dare to commit anymore. Yet, some people just have that power to make you want to.

Yellowstone memories still rakes deeply in my mind and now that I've signed on, memories have been pinned up on the wall facing me so no one else but me can see and feel how close they are to me.

I like the times where I don't think much better.

Why even right now, I'm struggling to blog about how happy/scared/sad I am.

I'm both excited and scared to go to Taiwan.

No one else would appreciate Beauty and the Beast the same. That's what's cool.

I always have visions of my family members dying and I'm scared because I know that when something really happens, it'll be all my fault.

When I die, I want everyone to sign on my coffin.

I wish I could draw so I can put down these images in my mind.

I wish I could sketch so they would look as messy as I feel them to be.

After all your manipulation and abusive words and behaviour, why do I still feel so obliged to help you this time. Even when it has NOTHING to do with me and it's a holiday meant for you, your mum and your sons?

fuck you conscience.

I gave you my music, made your song take wing.
And now how you repay me.
Denied me and betrayed me.