You know i,
can't smiilllllleeeee without youuuuuuu. :)
HPAPY AINVERNRASY!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Summer kisses, Winter tears
That was what she gave to me
Never thought that I'd travel all alone
The trail of memories
OCIP's 08 has ended.
I dono how to describe how i feel. It's a cocktail of emotions.
On one hand, i really love this team. And if i search my conscience, i know it's clear because whatever decisions i've made, whether right or wrong, I did it for the well-being of the team. And i can say that out proud.
But i know as time passed, especially while preparing for the final visit to the home today, i felt really tired. I felt like everyone was beginning to have this expectation of me meeting their needs and i want to meet them all but i can't. And it was beginning to drain me a little.
But while i start listening to "summer kisses winter tears" - a song sang by a very friendly resident of the home today, I start realizing how much i miss the team.
The team's a good team.
They kept their promises.
They were always around.
I really can never ask for a better team. And i hope that everyone will stay as close as they are even after the end of ocip'08.
Dear teammates, thank you very much. Thank you very much for being those responsible people you are.
Ok, so today's trip to the old folks' home was quite.. a flop. haha.. The hall was so big! The folks were less responsive than those at china and most importantly, that had a damn cool karaoke set. So, most of the team ended up having a 'kbox session' there instead. But, that's what's so cool. Even though we did not meet our target of interacting purely with the folks, 1-2 of them actually started using the mix and singing impromptu duets! And that's where " summer kisses winter tears " comes in. They were damn cool.
But because i'm not a huge fan of singing in a mic, i had the opportunity to see some of the old folks eating etc. And when you really stand there and observe them, you'll start realizing how much these old folks have gone through only to end up like that. What could they be thinking when they were eating? are they feeling sad?
One woman loved to shake hands. She was one of the friendliest folk there despite not being able to talk to anyone of us. (think she lost her ability to speak.) But one of the regulars there was telling me about how her eyes sparkled if you look into them. So when i was there to shake her hand, for the 5th - 6th time after, i looked into her eyes, and realized that they really did carry a certain kind of emotion that we can never understand..
And it brought me to my grandma.
Does she know how lucky she is?
Why does she still have to make life so difficult for everyone? Could that be... her defence machanism?
sigh.
The fire of love, the fire of love
Can burn from afar
And nothing can light the dark of the night
Like a falling star
That was what she gave to me
Never thought that I'd travel all alone
The trail of memories
OCIP's 08 has ended.
I dono how to describe how i feel. It's a cocktail of emotions.
On one hand, i really love this team. And if i search my conscience, i know it's clear because whatever decisions i've made, whether right or wrong, I did it for the well-being of the team. And i can say that out proud.
But i know as time passed, especially while preparing for the final visit to the home today, i felt really tired. I felt like everyone was beginning to have this expectation of me meeting their needs and i want to meet them all but i can't. And it was beginning to drain me a little.
But while i start listening to "summer kisses winter tears" - a song sang by a very friendly resident of the home today, I start realizing how much i miss the team.
The team's a good team.
They kept their promises.
They were always around.
I really can never ask for a better team. And i hope that everyone will stay as close as they are even after the end of ocip'08.
Dear teammates, thank you very much. Thank you very much for being those responsible people you are.
Ok, so today's trip to the old folks' home was quite.. a flop. haha.. The hall was so big! The folks were less responsive than those at china and most importantly, that had a damn cool karaoke set. So, most of the team ended up having a 'kbox session' there instead. But, that's what's so cool. Even though we did not meet our target of interacting purely with the folks, 1-2 of them actually started using the mix and singing impromptu duets! And that's where " summer kisses winter tears " comes in. They were damn cool.
But because i'm not a huge fan of singing in a mic, i had the opportunity to see some of the old folks eating etc. And when you really stand there and observe them, you'll start realizing how much these old folks have gone through only to end up like that. What could they be thinking when they were eating? are they feeling sad?
One woman loved to shake hands. She was one of the friendliest folk there despite not being able to talk to anyone of us. (think she lost her ability to speak.) But one of the regulars there was telling me about how her eyes sparkled if you look into them. So when i was there to shake her hand, for the 5th - 6th time after, i looked into her eyes, and realized that they really did carry a certain kind of emotion that we can never understand..
And it brought me to my grandma.
Does she know how lucky she is?
Why does she still have to make life so difficult for everyone? Could that be... her defence machanism?
sigh.
The fire of love, the fire of love
Can burn from afar
And nothing can light the dark of the night
Like a falling star
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Dear Mother,
I don't like it when you use every conversation we have to praise your sons.
I don't like it when i try to share with you my experiences and you bring up their names.
I don't like it when you try to bring them and the rest of this screwed family into the badminton games I have with ks, xie and sometimes you.
I don't like it when you say yes to them for everything they demand while I have to be placed on hold.
I don't like it when HE can bum around the house while you and I pick up his mess and still here you say, " he's a good boy. "
I don't like it when you tell me there's beef in kitchen and i have to eat it in the sly because grandmother will scold whereas you bring it out in the open when HE comes down to eat 5 mins later.
I don't like it when you're unappreciative of my efforts to reduce your stress and heartaches from grandmother and your sons.
I don't like it when you promise me something and break it while giving them what you promised me just because "they are guys".
I don't like it when you wanted to hang up the phone on me when i asked for the car last night while you readily said yes to HIM when he asked for the car for the SAME night.
I don't like that you treat them like kings and me their servants.
I don't like it when relatives he refused to greet just because " he said hi to them yesterday " come over and say bye to him with such glee in their eyes and never gave me a glance even though i was seating right in front of him.
I don't like it even more when they reach the door and suddenly remember that i was there and quickly turn over to say "yvonne bye"
I don't like that you're starting to behave like grandmother.
Dear Mother,
when will you ever open your eyes?
Love your one and only daughter,
Yvonne.
sidenote: fat, i dono why i always say i want to come home when this is what i always get.
I don't like it when you use every conversation we have to praise your sons.
I don't like it when i try to share with you my experiences and you bring up their names.
I don't like it when you try to bring them and the rest of this screwed family into the badminton games I have with ks, xie and sometimes you.
I don't like it when you say yes to them for everything they demand while I have to be placed on hold.
I don't like it when HE can bum around the house while you and I pick up his mess and still here you say, " he's a good boy. "
I don't like it when you tell me there's beef in kitchen and i have to eat it in the sly because grandmother will scold whereas you bring it out in the open when HE comes down to eat 5 mins later.
I don't like it when you're unappreciative of my efforts to reduce your stress and heartaches from grandmother and your sons.
I don't like it when you promise me something and break it while giving them what you promised me just because "they are guys".
I don't like it when you wanted to hang up the phone on me when i asked for the car last night while you readily said yes to HIM when he asked for the car for the SAME night.
I don't like that you treat them like kings and me their servants.
I don't like it when relatives he refused to greet just because " he said hi to them yesterday " come over and say bye to him with such glee in their eyes and never gave me a glance even though i was seating right in front of him.
I don't like it even more when they reach the door and suddenly remember that i was there and quickly turn over to say "yvonne bye"
I don't like that you're starting to behave like grandmother.
Dear Mother,
when will you ever open your eyes?
Love your one and only daughter,
Yvonne.
sidenote: fat, i dono why i always say i want to come home when this is what i always get.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Friday, September 05, 2008
it's been 5 years yet ever so often, we find her name being brought up in our gatherings. We could be laughing at some of her silly antics, sighing over some of the possibilities, crinching at every thought of what she went through when it happened. Whatever it is, we can't stop thinking about her.
How she left was a waste and i guess even though the tears have subsided, deep in our hearts, we're still mourning. I don't think we even want to stop. We need this to remember her by and to remind ourselves that she could be there with us.
I wonder where you'll be now if you were still around.
It's really a very frustrating feeling, not knowing where to find you. We hate to entertain the thought of not being able to pay respects to you again. But there's nothing we can do except to hope that someday, your mama will open up to someone we know.
"niJ niJ naT", we miss you. We really do. We've all grown up in some ways or another.. have you grown up too?
I bet everyone's thinking about you today too..
How she left was a waste and i guess even though the tears have subsided, deep in our hearts, we're still mourning. I don't think we even want to stop. We need this to remember her by and to remind ourselves that she could be there with us.
I wonder where you'll be now if you were still around.
It's really a very frustrating feeling, not knowing where to find you. We hate to entertain the thought of not being able to pay respects to you again. But there's nothing we can do except to hope that someday, your mama will open up to someone we know.
"niJ niJ naT", we miss you. We really do. We've all grown up in some ways or another.. have you grown up too?
I bet everyone's thinking about you today too..
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Team OCIP'08
Watching videos as such wil inevitably bring about a sense of nostalgia.
I guess regardless of how a trip is, a team is a team. And in general, i love these people.
It's really nice to think back of the laughters we have in the room, in the van and during "working hours". Most importantly, friendships were forged through this trips and everyone in the team is notably closer than before. :)
Yes, i know i haven' been blogging for a while. Blame it on the school! or fann wong and christopher lee. You see, i've either been busy trying to catch up with school work or more often than not, i've been busy watching return of the condor heroes. And yes, the singapore version.
It's really quite good. Except that the fightings are really messy.
anyway, they're fighting again.
Bye.
Friday, July 04, 2008
This has been what i've always wanted to do.
My dream, as some would say.
This could very well be one of the few things i've done which i never gave up on half way through.
Because, this is really what i wanna do.
This has been THE thing that i've spoke to sandy, 3sa, sj, selinalim since sec school days. This is THE opportunity that sandy knows that i've been waiting so desperately for.
But as the trip looms,
I'm starting to experience something different.
Is that fear? Worry?
Why does it seem so negative?
Are we all evading the whole purpose of the trip?
That what matters most is the people we're helping benefits from our service and we ourselves pick up learning values from it?
Are regulations, corporations and ranks driving us all crazy?
Jasmine says that the top 4 have changed. That everyone's so power driven now. That everyone's thriving more for recognition.
Sigh..maybe she's right; maybe it's true.
Don't you think that puts us to shame?
When people like Esther, like MH, like Hiang En have been telling me how excited they are for the trip. When ppl like jon changed their nick to msgs for ocipans. When ppl like mf sends me e-cards to edge me on.
I can feel and i'm touched and glad for their sincerety. But on the other hand, are WE sincere? Is authority diluting this most basic value in us? If that's the case, i don't want this power.
I just want to be sincere.
My dream, as some would say.
This could very well be one of the few things i've done which i never gave up on half way through.
Because, this is really what i wanna do.
This has been THE thing that i've spoke to sandy, 3sa, sj, selinalim since sec school days. This is THE opportunity that sandy knows that i've been waiting so desperately for.
But as the trip looms,
I'm starting to experience something different.
Is that fear? Worry?
Why does it seem so negative?
Are we all evading the whole purpose of the trip?
That what matters most is the people we're helping benefits from our service and we ourselves pick up learning values from it?
Are regulations, corporations and ranks driving us all crazy?
Jasmine says that the top 4 have changed. That everyone's so power driven now. That everyone's thriving more for recognition.
Sigh..maybe she's right; maybe it's true.
Don't you think that puts us to shame?
When people like Esther, like MH, like Hiang En have been telling me how excited they are for the trip. When ppl like jon changed their nick to msgs for ocipans. When ppl like mf sends me e-cards to edge me on.
I can feel and i'm touched and glad for their sincerety. But on the other hand, are WE sincere? Is authority diluting this most basic value in us? If that's the case, i don't want this power.
I just want to be sincere.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
It has finally come down to the last 2 days of this internship stint. And i have to say... i kinda..really... hate it here.
haha..i guess this will be the first time i'm actually not going to miss a place i'm leaving. Worry not, i'll still bid my farewells to my desk, the toilet, this laptop.. but on the whole, i'm more than excited to leave Bole.
Now that my work's ending, i really am clueless why the company still wants me to come back to work EVERYDAY when i practically have nothing to do from 845am to 6pm. I'm like online the entire day, checking liv tyler out. It's best when no one's in the office because i can use the opportunity to watch some movies online. ( by defn, some movies actually means watching the hulk 6-7 times. haha.. )
So, the trip's in a couple of days and the top few of us already had some problems here and there. I wouldn't say it's exactly bad coz at least, we can ( i hope ) get some things sorted out before we head off for a foreign land. I really hope the trip's gonna be a fruitful one to the team as well as myself. I guess the whole preparation stage for the trip really set me thinking about older days.. days in uniform.
well, more about that next time. I'm too lazy to talk right now.
bye.
haha..i guess this will be the first time i'm actually not going to miss a place i'm leaving. Worry not, i'll still bid my farewells to my desk, the toilet, this laptop.. but on the whole, i'm more than excited to leave Bole.
Now that my work's ending, i really am clueless why the company still wants me to come back to work EVERYDAY when i practically have nothing to do from 845am to 6pm. I'm like online the entire day, checking liv tyler out. It's best when no one's in the office because i can use the opportunity to watch some movies online. ( by defn, some movies actually means watching the hulk 6-7 times. haha.. )
So, the trip's in a couple of days and the top few of us already had some problems here and there. I wouldn't say it's exactly bad coz at least, we can ( i hope ) get some things sorted out before we head off for a foreign land. I really hope the trip's gonna be a fruitful one to the team as well as myself. I guess the whole preparation stage for the trip really set me thinking about older days.. days in uniform.
well, more about that next time. I'm too lazy to talk right now.
bye.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
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