Its been a long time since i felt like my heart's at one place while my body's at another.

I really wanted to go to that islamic home. :(

'Pocahontas' Finale

Que, Que, not to rush,
you will understand.

Listen with your heart,
you will understand.

With the new year comes new resolutions.

While I've never really been much of a come-up-with-new-year-resolutions kinda person ( i think ), as i start approaching adult-hood ( ahem. ) and working life,

I wish for a few things.

And amongst these,
I wish, the most, that i will have the guts to do what i want to do, say what i want to say, and step out of being another pawn in this dog-eat-dog world.


sigh.
I feel like i've wasted my hols. :(

off for a really dreaded week in melacca.

Bye folks.

Do you remember how our teachers in the secondary or primary school always say how we gotta take responsible actions to show your parents how much they can trust you?

It apparantly doesn't work in this family.

Because i have been doing just anything for HER to put that little bit of trust and faith in me.

But she's JUST TOO BIASED AND I CANNOT FUCKING STAND IT.

And it turns out that alvin too quarrelled with her and as such, she was so occupied in attempting to appease him that he didn't even notice how pissed she made me.

i'm going crazy here.

Thank you for understanding how trying this period is.

i swear there's workplace politics AT.MY.HOME.

urgh!

I really like the cold december air..

Why U So Like Dat?

Yes.
Why you so like that?

No meh?

Disclaimer: Dunst didn't have too many beautiful, decent, non- Mary-Jane pictures soooo, cropping had to be done.


God, they even wear the same clothes!



( Told you Dunst wasn't very pretty in erm.. less-suggestive clothes. )

Hallelujah

Hate China.

Bought OC season 1-4 but only 1 and 2 were good. 3 was jumbled. Johnny was alive one moment, dead in the next chapter and alive again in the following one.

Although, i may be lucky coz reviews have it that 3 and 4 were bad. Buttt.. it just seem like a must to finish watching the entire series no matter how bad it is. Now, i can't even watch how Merissa dies. :( Thank god for youtube.

Anyway, even though i prefer Rachel Bilson, i think Mischa Barton's quite hot sometimes. ALTHOUGH, she reminds me of Kirsten Dunst somehow.

So..

i tried to speak to mother again.
Tried to tell myself time and again that i was being too petty.

1st day - ok.
2nd day - ok.
3rd day - back to square one.

I realized today that i am still very much unhappy at her differential treatment and i don't think it's something that can be easily forgotten this time. Poink says it's because everything that was thrown to the back of my mind previously are now bursting with rage and i kinda agree.

Really don't know how i'm going to enjoy the Malacca trip.

need.rest.

When i read that drinking is bad, i gave up reading.

i've always loved the pre-christmas atmosphere.
Waking up to cold air, loud ps2 noises blaring downstairs and all the christmas songs on the radio.

But i loved them more last time, when i didn't have to burden myself with fyp and home wasn't so disgusting to be in.

sidenote: i still cannot bring myself to converse with mother. Ever since that incident, i find this home utterly disgusting.

You've seriously crossed the line this time, mother.

I don't think i can ever forget how ridiculous you were.

This is a fucking bad home and you know it yourself.

Hate my family culture.
Hate how it's affecting my life.

HATE HATE HATE!

Talk is cheap.

Lately, i've been having this weird feeling.

It's like...a bad feeling - a bad omen of sorts. Either that or my body's complaining that there's not enough rest. And if you think about it, it's sorta true..

Things have been like that since year 2 sem 2:

1) Studies
2) Exams
3) Holidays: PA + OCIP preparation ( no doubt one of the most tiring time. Can you believe stupid BOLE is still bugging me up till now? It's like.. one day i receive a msg from the boss, " i need 5 ppl next week. can find for me? " then i receive another sms from stupid ah pui, " i need a bazar store location. you can find one for me? " And when i ignore that sms, she texts me on msn asking me to do OTHER things. omg. I'm no longer your employee YA. )
4) OCIP trip
5) FOC
6) Start of new term
7) Exams


and now, FYP.

I need a break. Need a get away.

Sometimes i wish to find my way back to Pulau Aur. Away from people, from situations and from handphones. I will spend the entire day diving, resting by the seaside, sipping my hot hot teh-o, playing my sudoku before jumping back into the clear waters again.

Most importantly, there's no reception there. So i'm sparred from any obligations.

Of course, poink has the exception of being there with me. That's all i need.

Goodnight.